A/N: Hey everyone, first of all thank you for your amazing support on Chapter 8. It really meant a lot. Second, I hope you all have a Happy New Year!!! Here's the next chapter.
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If a week ago someone would have told him he’d lose his virginity to Jonny he would have deemed the person as seriously deluded, but now…now it made a lot of sense.
Jon slowly turned around to face him and his heart fluttered at those beautiful green eyes. His friend laughed quietly and leaned in for a kiss.
Chris met his lips, still in a sort of haze, and let out a short giggle.
“I should get rid of this, right?” he said removing the condom.
“Unless you want to keep it as a souvenir or something,” Jonny chuckled and took it from him, disposing it in the bin near his bed.
“No, I’m not that much of a freak!” he laughed.
Jon settled back on his side and scooted closer, sleepy eyes gazing calmly up at him, making his soul soar and his body tingle.
I love him
I truly do
But what will happen now? What are we…How…How are we going to continue? Where do we go from here?
He searched his heart and he was dismayed at the answers he got. At what his gut was telling him, what his heart had known all along. They couldn’t be together, not now. He was shit at relationships and something told him this amazing moment they had just shared would be permanently ruined if they took that path now. They were not ready yet. He was not ready yet. He could feel it, deep within his soul. Chris sighed and gazed at his friend’s lovely face before him.
I don’t want to hurt you honey.
You’re too important for me.
You’re my best friend, my musical soul mate.
If we don’t stop this, we might lose everything we’ve been working so hard to achieve.
If we don’t stop this, we might fuck up and ruin our band.
If we don’t stop this, you’ll probably get hurt and we’ll lose our precious friendship.
I don’t want to lose you.
Despite his quiet and reserved nature, Jonny was wise beyond his years which left Chris pondering if he also had arrived to the same conclusion. What if he expected more, though? What if he needed something he could not give him now?
God, what if Jon thought he had used him? Nothing was further from the truth. Oh…oh, no…what had he done? What had they done?
“What’s wrong?” a calm voice inquired and he focused on the other man’s face to see a tender gaze searching his soul.
Out of pure instinct and raw need he snuggled closer, skin to skin; the contact soothing his nerves.
“I’m…I’m a bit confused,” he admitted.
“About what?”
“About us Jon.”
“Why?”
“Well…well cause…cause…what will happen now?”
“Nothing will happen.”
“I don’t know if I’m gay…I…I don’t think I am…I’m…”
