Chained to Mr. Billionaire

CIAO BELLA

"Wish I knew what you're thinking. Words don't come that easy, We might be broken by design. I can't help how I'm feeling"

- Ruel (Say)

I rubbed my eyes and blinked in the cold dim morning. Facing the other bed to see it was empty. I was all alone. I sat up and looked around trying to convince myself he hadn't left yet. That he was just packing his bag or grabbed a fresh air. Or maybe just only eating downstairs in the dining room.

I removed the duvet from my body and ran towards the bathroom to see it empty. His bag was nowhere to be seen. The balcony was also empty. I felt colder than the usual. His warm hands against my skin.. his comforting touch—embraces is missing. It felt like a mother left her just-born baby in the hospital bed alone. I felt incomplete.

The first time I ever felt so lost and empty aside from Shane saving me at that time. The faint spicy scent still lingered in the room. It was the only thing that made me think that I had not been dreaming all these time. The scent that only gives comfort to me that he was here. But it was and not like he stayed. He really did left me.

I sat in the bed with my hands buried into my face. Tears was already flowing out that I couldn't even stop. I felt ruined and suffocated. I didn't care if I am fully naked and not getting fully dressed yet. At this point I don't know what to do—what to feel. I wish my grandmother is here to tell me its okay and I'm not alone. But I know its impossible for her to just appear here out of nowhere. She's dead and had been in heaven. She left me. Just like my mother..just like Ryder.

Everyone does. I was lied to, I was used to, and I was tossed out of nowhere like I'm nothing. Like I'm just the barbie doll that could get play pretend. A game that there were always a sad ending. A happy ending that we all could wish for. I wasn't the Princess. I'm the side character who would always get her heart broken after trusting everyone around her.

I reached for the duvet and wrapped it around me, crying my heart out as I gripped onto the tip of the silk. As if it was the only one that could save me. The only scent that I could smell from the love of my life. I hate everything. I hate my life. I didn't really deserve to live when all I know that I thought I had, would be falling apart in front of me effortlessly.

I felt the door flung open. I didn't dare to look up nor speak up. I continued sitting there and let the duvet and his scent comfort me but it wasn't at all working. My heart aches. I couldn't breathe. My vision turning so vividly. I feel too cold and later on I know my eyes would turn red.

"Oh my, Leila. No no you can't cry" I heard Lucia's voice echo in the room and immediately felt her embrace as she reached for me. I could tell she panicked from what she saw. I sobbed and this time around, I hugged her back. She whispered incoherent words softly while caressing my hair. It was the moment I feel like my grandmother was the one hugging me and telling me its fine... its fine to cry and feel weak at the moment.

"Grandmother" I sobbed with heavy breaths. Closing my eyes as I let myself imagine my grandmother that would always offer me my favorite dish to make me stop crying and making me laugh whenever I feel mad or sad about something. She taught me how to be brave and mentally strong. I should be an independent woman who could face everything with a brave smile and mentality. But right now I couldn't. I feel like I'm failing her.

"Shh... It's okay" She cooed as she continue her strokes in my head. I fought the urge to scream in frustration. How much I had been broken like a piece of glass shattering across the floor. Drowning in the depths of cold ocean alone. It was as if I was swallowing the shards of glasses. I had Ryder in my life, I thought he would be the one to save me. But he deserted me.