How to new friends and influence people

Final Chapter

“IF YOU WANT TO GATHER HONEY, DON’T KICK OVER THE BEEHIVE”

“I have spent the best years of my life giving people the lighter pleasures, helping them have a good time, and all I get is abuse, the existence of a hunted man.”

An animal rewarded for good behavior will learn much more rapidly and retain what it learns far more effectively than an animal punished for bad behavior.

Criticisms are like homing pigeons. They always return home. Let’s realize that the person we are going to correct and condemn will probably justify himself or herself, and condemn us in return.

“Don’t complain about the snow on your neighbor’s roof, when your own doorstep is unclean.”

When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.

Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them. Let’s try to figure out why they do what they do. That’s a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism; and it breeds sympathy, tolerance and kindness.
“To know all is to forgive all.”

Everything you and I do springs from two motives: the sex urge and the desire to be great.
-Sigmund Freud

If you tell me how you get your feeling of importance, I’ll tell you what you are. That determines your character. That is the most significant thing about you.

People who go insane find in insanity a feeling of importance that they were unable to achieve in the world of reality.

If some people are so hungry for a feeling of importance that they actually go insane to get it, imagine what miracle you and I can achieve by giving people honest appreciation this side of insanity.

“There is nothing else that so kills the ambitions of a person as criticisms from superiors. Never criticize anyone. Believe in giving a person incentive to work."

Once I did bad and that I heard ever/Twice I did good, but that I heard never.

“There is nothing I need so much as nourishment for my self-esteem.”
-Alfred Lunt

The difference between appreciation and flattery?
That is simple.
One is sincere and the other insincere.
One comes from the heart out; the other from the teethout.
One is unselfish; the other selfish.
One is universally admired; the other universally condemned.

“Don’t be afraid of enemies who attack you. Be afraid of the friends who flatter you.”
-General Obregon

“Flattery is telling the other person precisely what he thinks about himself.”

Honest appreciation got results where criticism and ridicule failed.

Be hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.

“Success lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.”
-Henry Ford