Over the Horizon When we meet

Prologue

" Set Five, Six, Seven, Eight........Da Da da Dum", says the dance instructor of my entertainment company and all the boys in the back follow his command. They continue in a rhythmic synchronization but suddenly jerk and stop as one of them glances at me and signals the others about my arrival in the studio. The dance instructor comes and greets me as the boys stand in a line to greet me as a group. I nod my head and tell them to continue with their practice as their debut is just around the corner. Shin, Roi, Wang and M-King are the boys who are going to start their journey as Idols in this world of music. These boys were always great even back in their trainee days, I remember. They were humble, respectful to others and, most of all, they were very hardworking and  striving to be the best. 

Right Shin, Roi, Wang, M-King, Da Young............Da Young. Kim Da Young was one of them. He was going to debut with the rest of the boys but passed away earlier this year in an accident. Hearing or even remembering his name made my heart freeze. A  sudden stroke of guilt crossed over me. I didn’t know why.  Was it because I was the CEO of the label under which he was going to debut or was it because of my harsh words which I said the night before he died. I couldn't settle my thoughts on the same. I couldn't accept my guilt nor could I express my feelings to someone. 

I had to keep my problems, thought and everything to myself. Being the CEO I can't let others feel insecure due to my personal reasons. But what could I probably do? How do I get out of these spirals in my head? As I was spacing out sitting on the chair in the corner, I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket. I took it out to see the message from my friend, Jae In. 

" Don't forget our appointment at 5. 

See you in my clinic". 

I take a look at my watch to only notice that it was 4:30. I had only 30 minutes to reach from Gangnam to somewhere  near the Cheonggyecheon, where the clinic was. Jae In was kind of like my only friend in whom I confided in . Not only because he was my psychiatrist but also because he was my childhood friend with whom I had spent most of my time with even more  than my parents.

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" Nurse, have you checked the patient on bed no' 6? And is patient Bong Song taking his medications regularly. I should have visited him at least today.And--", 

" Don't worry Dr. Kim, the condition of all the patients is stable and also they are  recovering very well" said Nurse Hyeon Jin. " And also Dr. Kim, you should look after yourself a little. You have lost quite some weight recently. Why don't you go on a little vacation. All the surgeries under you have ended successfully. It's time to take a little rest".

" I know Nurse Hyeon Jin. Also it is the last week of me working as a doctor here. I submitted my resignation to the Chairman and he has approved of it. So soon it will be a long vacation", I replied. The nurse was surprised with my abrupt confession. She was confused but still let a question out aloud to be audible to everyone present on the floor," You are leaving us in a week?" The whole medical ward looked at me , shocked. 

" Yes." 

I let  only one word slip out of my mouth knowing that there are many more questions to follow. I waited for Hyeon Jin to ask the rest . 

"  How can you do this to us. How can you think of leaving us? How can we work without you here. Who will guide us?'' Hyeon Jin almost pants as she finishes asking the questions in less then a second. I can sense her cheeks which are hot from anger. I stop her as soon as I see a drop of tear forming in her eye. 

" Hyoen Jin~aa, don't cry. I had thought about this earlier. Don't worry, your new doctor will be coming here today. He will take my place starting next week. He is quite young, warm and also very handsome, so it will be easy for you to communicate with. Unlike me, an old gag".

" You call yourself an old gag because you are 2 years older to me. Is being 26 old?", says Hyeon Jin screaming at me. “ Dr. Kim, why are you doing this. And also I’m more worried about you. What are you going to do after this? I mean do you have any other things planned?” 

“ Nurse Hyeon Jin, don’t worry. I had received an invitation from SeoulArts to be their Physical and Mental Health professor. I will join them when the Semester starts. Till then I have a vacation. So don’t worry. Hmm?” I force a faint smile on my face.

Well, I myself was not sure why I was quitting my job. I loved my job. I was the best among my batch. Most confident and also the first to be a resident doctor. But it all changed early  this year. 

I remember the patient who came in at midnight on Valentine’s Day. It was horrible. He was hit by a truck on the crossroad. He had some ribs broken and had lost too much blood. We could have saved him. I could have saved him only if……….only if I had not answered the phone. Only if I was more stable that day. That boy would have been alive.

 What I still regret till date is that I was not able to give the letter by him to the rightful owner. And how can I. It only had ‘ M…………’. The rest of the words were all stained with his blood. So I can’t even figure it out. What can I do?