18 | we meet again strange girl

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~ Amity's POV, continuation~



I'm ashamed of myself. 

That towards the first-and probably last- being that would ever treat me with such humane, somewhat "kind" actions, I can't even bother to mutter even a simple thank you. But, then again, why would I? Why would I allow myself to even consider treating this dhatin of Jenglot  kindly? He tried to kill me twice! (Twice!!). 

Shame is a word that I often overlook. You can be ashamed of yourself but not even do anything about your shame. 

It's been about two weeks since that incident happened. After that day that Kersen had given me a bottle filled with TESTA-PILL pills, it has seemed that my dreams of that barn have wavered. Slowly, I'm having less and less nightmarish dreams. These dreams, once have made me have something to reminsce over, they filled the void within myself. This gap, this void within my heart would be what pushed me to be further curious about my past. However, ever since I started taking those pills, I've become more prone to nothingness. 

I can't tell if this is a terrible thing or not. 

Today is the day that I'm going to head over to the ORBV to mentor Kersen. It's supposed to be a day full of surprises considering that when it comes to Kersen, he's never short of them. 

Have you ever felt this tinge of melancholy that's always clung to your personality? This has happened so frequent to me since the beginning of time. It's happened so often that all I can linger on (for the sake of being comfortable) is that tinge. That slightly sad, but always bittersweet tinge (kind of like eating when guilty) that a daemon may feel but could never describe. 

Those TESTA-PILLS have really been doing me well appearance-wise, though. Heck, looking like how I am right now, anyone could mistaken me for a real human. But, do I even know what it means to be a real human? 

*******

Last time Kersen and I spoke, he talked to the head of The Requiem, a man called Count Darc. After Kersen dropped me over at the section of The Requiem that I'd go to, The Blight's Requiem, this Count Darc gave me a room to stay in at the Requiem Apartments. 

" Are you really sure I don't have to pay for my stay, Kersen?" I asked him, flushing red from embarrassment. I can't believe that the man who almost tried to kill me a day ago is trying to be nice to me. But... Why am I flushed like a tomato over this? 

Is it because...

He's being kind?

" Amity, yes that's alright. Since you're going to mentor me starting two weeks from now, this is the least I can do for you. I'll see you once you've fully recovered."

" Fully recovered?" 

" Yes," Kersen said this as he bit down on his bottom lip. When he realized to himself that he's bit down too much, droplets of red seep through the punctured lip, as he licks it off. 

He continues, " What I mean is that It's necessary for you, as my teacher and mentor, to at the very least have a proper home."

A proper home.

Is he trying to say that I don't already have such a proper home? A home is the last thing I want right now. Shaking my head side to side, I say, " Why would I need this 'proper' home? Are you trying to compensate for what happened the other day?" 

" Pardon?" 

Flushing out of embarrassment, I change the subject, " Well um... Nevermind. I guess I'll take you upon that offer." 

Tainted Teardrops [Book no.1- Dhatins of 3030 Indonesia] ✔Where stories live. Discover now