JOURNAL OF LISA AZOLA VOGUE

Entry no.7

♡ Date: July 7, 2020 ♡
♡ Time: 3:49 P.M. ♡

Dear Diary,

May be this is the last time that I am going to talk with my first love whom I treasured the most for two years.

Last time that I've talk with her with care, feelings, and emotion. I set everything into an end that time. Thinking that what she will be doing starting that night is not my conscience and responsibility anymore. I dont want to be accountable in her actions anymore. I am a girlfriend not a parent or a guardian of her. May be, that night will be the best and most changing part of my life.

I've learned so much from that woman. My innocent mind and fairytale like idea of being in love is now all gone. Surpassing every norms and quotes. Like love is blind,

No! I am eye wide open. I just let myself to forgive and forgive. Let her enjoy her life why me seeing things that I should have experienced to be slipped with my bare hands.

||yeah, this is a one sided love story. Don't judge everything by this point of view.||

That is a shit feeling everytime. When your instinct telling you that something is wrong. That you were fuck up by your girl, committing into another person. Cheating on you and make you fool.

And me being goodie always let it pass. Make her fine and thinking that, that is her happiness. What should I do? If all I wanted is her being happy.

Surge of violent reaction of my brain is starting to knock me down every night. Asking my self why do I choose to suffer and let be in ground. Feeling trash that when she needed me, she can pick me up and when not, I was just thrown away.

Ive written this same shit at my physical diary|journal and I guess that book is so itchy and tormented by my repeated complains and rants about that woman.

This is the last entry that she will be mention and talk about, because I knew that my present girl would be mad at me big time if she found out this content of mine.