Fallen

Chapter 1

"Lumayas ka dito! Pinatay mo ang anak ko, wala hiya kang babae ka! Hampas lupa!" Pinagtatapon ng Nanay ng asawa ko ang aking mga kagamitan sa labas ng aming pamamahay. She was furious saying that I killed her son.

Tumutulo ang luha ko habang kinukuha ang aking mga kagamitan na naalikabukan na ngayon. "Ma, please naman oh, wala po akong matitirhan." Pagmamakaawa ko. I was kneeling in front of her but she was merciless.

Instead of showing mercy, disgust was evident on her face na para akong isang putik sa kanyang mga paa. I was trying to hold her hand while blinking back my tears. "I don't need you here! You bitch, umalis ka dito bago pa ako ma highblood sayo!" She pushed me, kaya napasalampak ako sa sahig.

Napatingin naman ako sa Ate ni Ravael, she was gazing at me, coldly. Para akong basura kung ituring habang pinapaalis nila ako sa sarili naming pamamahay. Pinagsarahan nila ako ng pinto at hinayaan ako dito sa labas.

I held myself up, I felt something stinging on my one knee. Nagkasugat pa tuloy ako, I got my backpack at isinilid doon ang aking mga gamit. I was crying helplessly. It seems like everything was a blur. Namatay ang asawa ko dahil sa plane crash at ako ang sinisisi ng pamilya niya. Bakit daw ba kasi ako nagpabaya? Bakit ko daw ba hinayaan na ang asawa ko ang magpunta sa Spain para hanapin ang mga magulang ko? Bakit nga ba? Sana nga ako nalang ang pumunta, edi sana ngayon ay buhay pa siya.

How can he leave me all alone in this cruel world? I was devastated and I don't know where to go. I had no family, I was an orphan when I met him. Matagal nang may ayaw sakin ng pamilya ni Ravael, for them isa akong peste sa pamamahay nila. Nevertheless, I didn't mind because Ravael was with me. He loved me wholeheartedly and now he's gone with no one to blame, but me.

Umiiyak ako habang lumalabas sa subdivision. I was carrying my things at hindi ko maipagkakaila na mabigat iyon. Saan ba ako matutulog? I don't know. Should I rent a small apartment? No. I shouldn't, wala naman akong pera. They didn't even give me a cent. I am so hopeless!

My feet carried me on the way to the church. I found myself kneeling in front of Him.

"Dear God, are You giving me another obstacle to go through? I don't know if I can take it anymore. I'm losing hope, everything is just too much for me to handle right now. How could You take my husband away from me? It hurts! The pain is killing me... Why would You make me feel this way? May nagawa ba akong kasalanan?" My hopes ran out I really don't know what are His plans but as I think of it... It's just suffocating the hell out of me.

I cried my heart out, "Please give me answers, my Lord. Tinaboy na ako ng lahat, hindi ko alam kung paano bumaangon ulit. If You are hear me, please tulongan Mo po ako, give me strength." Hindi ko na alam kung ano ang mga sinasabi ko. I am badly asking for help. Pinahid ko muna ang mga luha ko bago ako lumabas ng tuluyan sa simbahan.

I saw someone eating kwek-kwek, napahawak nalang ako sa tiyan ko na ngayon ay tumutunog. I'm hungry! I opened my wallet just to see 300 pesos in it. Can this day get any worse? Paano ko pagkakasyahin ang 300 pesos na natitira sakin?

Agad akong nagtungo sa stall ng kwek-kwek para bumili. "Kuya, magkano po?" Tiningnan niya naman ako. "Bente tatlo, iha." Bente? Parang bigla atang tumaas ang presyo. "Ang mahal naman po."

"Wala ng mura ngayon, iha." Sabi ni manong, "Bibili ka ba o hindi?" Napakagat nalang ako ng labi at ibinigay sa kanya ang isang daan.

Binigyan niya naman ako ng kwek-kwek at sinuklian ng 80 pesos. Naglakad ako patungo sa isang bench para ilapag ang mga kagamitan ko at makakain ng maayos. I was busy eating may kwek-kwek ng may bigalang umagaw dito.

Isang baliw ang kumuha ng kwek kwek ko! Tulo pa ang laway niya ng kinakain ito. Napangiwi ako habang nakatingin sa kanya. I'm so hungry tapos ninakaw pa ang pagkain ko?! Could this day get any worse?! Napairap nalang ako sa hangin.

Pinabayaan ko nalang yung baliw na kunin ang kwek-kwek ko. Alangan naman habulin ko? Baka masabunotan pa ako non. I was so hungry, and I feel so helpless right now. Napayuko nalang ako at dahan-dahang tumutulo ang aking mga luha. Are you telling me to stop hoping right now, Lord? Wala na ba talaga akong pag-asa na maging masaya?

Nanatili akong nakayuko but still trying to surpress my sobs. Is this my life? Sa kalye na ba talaga ako titira neto? Bakit mo ba kasi ako iniwan, Ravael? Miss na miss na kita, I miss how you would take care and pamper me pero ang aga mo namang kinuha sakin.

Tears were falling onto my lap when a handkerchief was reached out to me. "I don't know why you are crying, but I think this will help." He has a deep baritone voice that was a music to my ears. Sounds like a sexy man, huh!

Tinanggap ko naman ang panyo niya at pinahiran ang mga luha ko. I looked up and was about to say thank you, "Thank y-" I was stunned upon looking at his face, I whispered his name. "Ravael..."