Downward Spiral (Izuocha)

Chapter 9 Release

Third person P.O.V.

Dinner had finished and Midoriya had spoken 0 words at the table as no one asked him anything and he was seen constantly yawning. His classmates assumed he was tired, he was always working hard to excel on what he does and wants to be, so they believed that it was bound to happen at some point, even if it was a rare occasion for the green mop of hair that they met a few months back. Of course, the closest to him where always eyeing him as if they wanted to decipher the secret code to enter his thoughts, as no one knew what was really going on in his head, only him. He had rushed straight for his bedroom to finish his homework and to leave the rest of his friends to be themselves, not realizing that what he was doing was actually worse.

Midoriya P.O.V.

I finished my homework and I go to the bathroom to brush my teeth, and as soon as I finish, I take a long look in the mirror at myself. I look as worthless as Kacchan says I am. He is right. Then I look at my arms and wrists, covered in nasty scars that represent the failure that I am. Not only that I could not control my quirk, but that my actions to help would result in something much worse than scars for others, be it getting kidnapped of killed, it was all because of my weakness. You don't deserve the power, anyone else would be much better with it right now. Mirio could still be a hero, and a much better one than YOU. You train, but accomplish nothing, it's just a sorry excuse to keep yourself away from the rest. The voices echoing stronger and stronger, making my tears flow out and falling into the sink.

All I wanted was to make them stop, to release them from my mind, as if the voices where injected in my blood stream and all I could do was live with them. Many times I was told to commit suicide, but this time, I was sure that I was doing the right thing as I eyed a pair of surgical scissors in my first aid kit that I keep in my bathroom. I run the water at a warm temperature and check for gauze and bandages to use, to make sure to not just make a mess, and not worry anyone that could see. 'It is just going to be another scar' I tell myself and open the scissors and apply pressure to my left wrist with one of the blades and slide through.

The crimson liquid begins to run quickly into the sink after the cut, and even though I am holding my arm, I haven't felt this good in over a week. The voices die down and my worries and anxiety seem to flow with the blood, and I decide to put the cut under the warm water as to have some sort of control over it, even if it stung, and even if it may hurt in the future, it surely did fill good once I did it, and I was sure that it was the right decision. I had to cover it of course, what would people think of me? Only more pity and disappointment than they already have in them, and I couldn't let that happen. Luckily, it was starting to get colder as the days passed heading into deep autumn and then winter, meaning that clothing would do, but I had to stop the bleeding with gauze that I had.

As soon as I lay in my bed, I begin to drift off, feeling even more tired than usual, as I had already changed into more comfortable clothing and the bed sheets never felt so fluffy and cozy. Still, it was midnight due to the new exercise that I had began, a way to make everything seem quieter and more calm, it really had become an enlightening experience, but still, I woke up again quite early from another nightmare before my alarm for training in the morning. It seems it wasn't as easy as I was led to believe.

Uraraka P.O.V.

Deku rushed to his room as soon as we finished eating, not making eye contact with anyone except his own food and had now returned to his private area, where we could know nothing that was going on. All I could think was that I wanted him to be getting sleep and return to his normal and adorable self that would shine a bright smile whenever we would talk, a smile that could melt my heart any day. "Uraraka-san, now I get why you are worried ribbit" said Tsu, snapping me back from my day dreaming as I was probably staring into nothing. "He is acting quite strange, even for him ribbit." she stated once more. "I agree" I heard a cold voice say from the seat to my left that startled me. "Todoroki, you noticed to?" I asked him, even if he had seemed invisible to me until he spoke up.

"Ever since his training with Bakugo, and maybe even before, something is going on. But it seems personal, and until it doesn't seem serious, I will not pry on my friend's personal matters." He said, and he was absolutely correct. One could forget how observant and smart he is, but he seemed to have a point. But then, I believed that it already was serious "But he looks like a mindless zombie" "So does Aizawa, and he is a teacher and a Pro Hero." he stated once again. He was right, but I thought that there was something more going on, as I remember back to what happened between us and I couldn't actually tell them, but I knew that we were right in being worried. 

"We should keep an eye on him, and see what happens ribbit" We all agreed with Tsu's idea. He was our friend after all, and it seemed impossible that someone as bright and happy as he would normally be could turn into the complete opposite in a matter of days. All I knew about him was that he was feeling guilt, and I don't know why but he was keeping something, but, he said he would tell me so, am I right?".

Heyoo. Chapter done and I like it. It reminds me of the scenes described in the Izuocha fanfic Happy that you should check out (it is completed and a great binge read). Also, I wanted to tell you to reed the MHA fanfics by @mie_gu (also izuocha Currently His and Wingless Fairy) I loved the ideas behind them and one is in the works. Either way, I hope you had and have a great day, you are loved and important. See you tomorrow. ( ✧≖ ͜ʖ≖)