I’m the one at school that barely gets noticed, I walk around school invisible. Sure that can be great sometimes but it gets annoying after a while. When you want a friend to talk to and no one’s there. I guess you could say I’ve missed out in my teenage years on all the sleep overs, the secret telling, the gossiping but, most of all knowing that if you need someone they are there for you. Yes I know I have family but there are some things in life that it’s too awkward to talk about with them. It’s at this point, 100 words in that I realise all I have done is rant, oops sorry my bad. Maybe I should introduce myself? My name is Ashlynn and I’m 17, I live in London with my family. By family I mean my twin brother Charlie, we don’t hardly talk, my half-sister Maddison who’s 7 now. I also have an older sister Laura who’s 20, we used to be close until she moved half way around the world to live in Sydney. Then there’s my Mum and step Dad Adam. Adam’s alright I guess, he treats my Mum nice and makes her happy and that’s all I care about. But that’s enough about me and my long list of family members, let get on with the story.
I’m currently sat in my room on my laptop, it’s like 4 in the morning but who really cares, I’m with my only friend, the internet and it’s currently letting my watch Broadchurch so I’m as happy as can be right now. I flick on my lamp and the massive poster of Benedict Cumberbatch is soon revealed. I may be a complete and utter loner but that however doesn't mean that I have no celebrity crushes, in fact I have a long list of them, 14 to be exact but who’s really counting?
So Broadchurch finished, now I have to find something else to occupy my time, yay. I shut my laptop and remove myself from my pit and look in the mirror. What have I become? You know once upon a time I used to look pretty, well before the depression hit me like a brick wall. It all started 8 years ago when I was nine. I came home from school one day to find my Dad had packed his bags and left. Mum told me that he had been cheating on her and therefore she had asked him to leave. Of course Charlie and I didn’t take this well we doted on Dad. Growing up he would take us to the park every Saturday when Mum was at work. On the way home he use to buy us chocolate and then make us pinky promise not to tell Mum or he’d get in trouble. Those were the good times, what happened huh? So much has changed in these last 8 years that it hard to believe. Adam moved in, and soon after Maddie was born, Laura moved to Sydney to live with her boyfriend Ryan. Charlie and I have drifted apart massively, we used to be so close and now look at us we barely talk anymore.
I open the draw and reach for the cardboard box inside and make my way to the window. I grab my hoodie off the back of my chair and proceed to climb out the window to the balcony. I froze, unable to move, someone was sat on the edge of the balcony. It was dark so all I could see was an outline. What was I meant to do? It could be a murderer for all I know. They cough and turn round and that’s when I was able to breathe a sigh of relief. He stood up and came sat next to me, propped up against the house. I was silent between us, nothing but breathing. Charlie lent is head on mine and we just sat there, I can’t tell how long it was we like that, but it felt comfortable staring out at the buildings ahead just like out times. Charlie removed his head from mine and reached for my box, helped himself to a cigarette before then offering me one.
“I feel like me and you have bearing spoken recently Ash. We used to be so close, but since Dad leaving we kind of went our own separate ways” He said before taking a drag from his cigarette.
“Yeah I know what you mean, we should probably get talking again, and I mean you are my twin. Were so close we share the same birthday, speaking of which is coming up” I smiled and took a drag.
“I agree and oh I haven’t forgotten, I was thinking of just a quiet night in just me and James. But then I remembered it’s our 18 which means me and you should got out to the bar” he took another drag before stubbing it out.
“Mm I don’t know Charlie I mean I barely leave this house anymore, you know better than anyone else how much depression has taken its toll on me. I have no friends now, I’ve managed to push away all the people close to me including you. I mean I don’t rely on these for nothing” I say waving my cigarette in his face before taking one last drag.
“Oh come on Ash, for me, your twin. It will be fun, I know it’s not easy but try to have fun it is your 18th and you only get one of those”
“Maybe, I don’t know Charlie I’ll think about it” I plaster an enthusiastic smile on my face and head for my window.
“Thanks Ash” I hear behind me.
“Wait how did you get out here only my window leads to the balcony?” I question with a confused look on my face.
“Secret” he says and taps his nose, to which I tilt my head at him.
“Fine, I snuck through when you went to the toilet, I was hoping that you’d fall asleep so I could let myself back in, but it turns out you never sleep”
“Right? And yes I’m nocturnal” I say as I proceed to climb through my window.
No less than 15 minutes later I was in bed asleep, nocturnal my arse.
*Authors note, please comment on whether you think this is good or not I can nether be sure, Love RoyaleWest xx*
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Back on Track
Romance17 year old Ashlynn has been hit hard by depression, pushing everyone near her away. A story of how she digs her way out of the hole and begins to get her life back on track and how in doing so she discovers who she really is.
