Sometimes life puts us in a phase where you meet unexpected twists and turns. I’m VINAY a 27-year-old who firmly believes the 5 letter word “M O N E Y” which brings an immense amount of happiness and satisfaction. My mantra” If you own them, you rule the world”. I lived my life with no expectations, schedules, plans nor any thoughts of my next move. According to me, Success is like Mutual Funds filled with bucks and sometimes luck hangs around to help. FAMILY, FRIENDS FOOD, SHELTER, GIRLS, DESIRES, SEX, LOVE, AND FAME all revolve around money. Nobody cares or nobody gives a shit about you unless you have the paper 66 X 166 mm², then everything is below your feet. I never worried about what life decides for me or what it puts me into because I stayed away from all those heavy words like relationship, care, concern, parenting, family. It’s all me, myself and mine.
Trained my soul-feeding only the thoughts of either earning money or owning money. Drugs, drinks, parties, people are my small-time joy pills. I had it going on flow until I met this female “ABI”. Jodha Nagar, a small matchbox house with Abi as my roommate.
3 days we acted mere professionally in minding our own business and not looking at each other face. No exchange of phone numbers nor glance took place. we had separate house keys to exit and enter. Besides we built unique reasons to not let the awkward space between us react until Friday night decided to dump me. The only day our doorbell was put to use but was sure it didn’t solve the purpose. All prepared to spend the rest of the day waiting outside as long as my bladder hold the rush. Speak of the devil, the urgency emerged in. As I was break dancing to the adrenaline rush with no music, the clang of the door broke the silence.
Yeah, I managed to control my moves but bolted inside without giving a proper explanation as to why the doorbell rang. After relieving, took the bag that I had dropped down on the floor and looked myself into the mirror sighing. I was obliged to state the reason to my roommate and I wanted to make my first impression quite okay though I had messed it earlier. Oh hey, I forgot my keys so I had to press the bell and disturb you. Umm also I’m Vinay. Hello Vinay, Abi Yadav 25-year-old.Wait, why did she say her age? Whatever! Oh cool, was my reply and then went into my igloo. She expected a long conversation to build but no proper raw materials ‘I meant topic was there.
As days, months, years passed we derived closeness like a bottle with a cap. 365 days was all about seeing the face of each other but one thing remained a mystery even though millions of questions were posted regarding my job. My sense of viewing life will not hold a clear cut brief to anybody and so I hesitated to answer any questions regarding my professional or personal life. Abi, like a slow grenade, was excited to be in my life. She held the position of all responsibilities right from knowing all my routine patterns and dumbphone pattern. Situations, scenes, and phases were all helping her develop hormonal changes of feelings. She developed a kind of emotion towards me where one day she claimed directly to me but I ignore zone her every time. I could sense that she is completely lost deep in thoughts of having feelings for me. Sacrifice, enough love, care, concern was provided but little did she know I don’t value any of these. Her entire life span involved my actions, moves, and thoughts. I had almost flaked every hangout but still, she has the energy to forgive. As a part of my business dealings, I had major shipping of drugs transported to the port which entail huge lump some bucks that I’M TOTALLY WORTH DESERVING. Every penny needs to be mine was the one wholesome laying thought flashing throughout my entire body. This deal was so important to my bank account refill and so I gave no space for any random thoughts including Abi. Money remains my priority, always and forever no matter whatever the cost is.
The previous night of my business deal I had kept myself busy thinking of various ways that this illegal trade can raise problems and how do I handle them without getting caught red-handed. Strange moments took place as I hardly had time to interact with Abi. Showed extreme anger and annoyance as she kept pestering about having my meal, taking a stroll, getting some fresh air, and some random bullshit that I can’t concentrate at this time. I considered all this as a disgrace and disturbance right in this situation. I know this part of my side was new to Abi but she needs to adjust over and all she has to do is stop taking concern over me and allow me to be myself. Why do these girls overdo this emotional attachment, don’t they have any other useful work to do rather than serve their feelings to what they call: “love of my life”? okay, chuck. Abi's facial reactions made me realize that she had smelt my illegal trade by eavesdropping my conversations but there is nothing that can make me stop from availing the preciousness.
5 minutes late, but got everything in order. Never took the time to say Abi that I’m off out as it remained our only habitual routine I had followed to greet each other and inform about our whereabouts, so I decided to escape out of her sight to avoid chaos. I reached the Karajan port where everybody was busy panicking having tons of thoughts in head. The area was covered silent and we were about 5 to 6 people minding the ambiance still. There she comes, Tanisha ! my lady luck who has always been my business partner. This female sure needs an accolade man. Her mind is a major asset and there are no loopholes left behind to any criminal activity. Good that, I have her along as plenty dealings are been traded efficiently. Money was prevailing on a long term basis with her active plan . This deal was our first entry into the Hawaiian drug gangsters. If this plan fails, I have to sacrifice my entire savings also this
would be a complete disaster to my money fill desire. It’s a DO OR DIE scene. Everything was on the check and proper monitor was been on 24/7 surveillance.
Just 10 minutes, my life is about to get changed. Like, imagine fellows crores of rupees is about to get attached to my life and what do you now think Real happiness lies.
Thud! THUD ! 4 men with a gun pointed walk towards us and we were being surrounded with other officers each holding the right aim. That is where Abi from nowhere was observing all the scenes taking place, suddenly emerged inside. What foolishness, Do you guys also call this as LOVE? The officers took charge of all of us and we were lead to a van. I can't tolerate the fact that my dreams are getting shattered and the money that I had been waiting for is down in vain. I gathered the courage to even ask the officers of getting into a deal where 50% would be given to them. Unfortunately, I came to know that the whole dealers and the Hawaiian gangsters were also apprehended. So my ultimate thought was to escape the hell out of here and when it comes to business you got to only think about yourself. Tanisha, myself, and few other people part of the dealing including Abi was made to sit inside the van. As the van was directed towards the main place where we are about to get investigated, Abi spoke up. That journey of 1-hour drive had mixed emotions. I still remember the exact dialogues and conversations ‘Vinay, this is not the part of you I loved. You are selfish, adamant and now criminal records can all be changed with proper guidance but this type of illegal business can never take you to the
right place nor you will know what and where real happiness lies. Leave all this, get surrendered. After a few months, we will live the life of true meaning’. Tanisha from her point of view started getting offensive and stated ‘ Who the hell is she Vinay? If you know nothing about business, please keep your nose out. Don’t deliver those Gyan that are utter crap. Vinay lets escape by barging out. keep our ways until I get safe and talk to you regarding our next move’. Abi was not supportive of our decision, but I do think that this is the best move as we had prior experience of getting ourselves saved. As I started talking ‘Abi, it's up to you. Escape with us or go fall into the justice trap. But please don’t hold me back and also I don’t have any feelings for you. I want this life on my own rules and can’t hold any commitments. Those words of her “ Vinay, there is real life beyond this and Tanisha being a woman can’t you direct him towards the right path. What type of psychopath female are you? Just get lost from his life.
Vinay, I know you haven’t felt the love shown by a family where you being surrounded with people that live for you or any friends who merely likes you for who you are, those things are truly precious. Listen to me, I will show you the life that you want . Real true happiness stays there, please don’t ruin your life. A lot of controversial conversations did happen between Abi, Tanisha, and myself. I was all prepared to leave Abi behind because all I can think about is myself and myself alone.
As predicted we pushed the guards out and stepped out, all I can still hear is the voice of Abi shouting VINAY! VINAY. Tanisha and others were lucky enough to get saved. My fate was rightly aimed at a bullet to get shot but that is where I lost myself. Abi, the woman I thought to cheat took the bullet shot. I was not able to move, tears that I had seen long ago started to roll down, something new, emotions that I never felt emerged inside me. For the first time, I felt something about a person. This pain was huge than anything else as I held her head sitting down and her body touching mine. The words still haunt me “ I WANT YOU TO LIVE, VINAY. I LOVE YOU” and the last breath was stopped. That moment I felt like dying, all the conversation we had before flashed through . she was a girl with a lot of dreams and hopes. She wanted to live life and not to end it. Why did she do this to herself? LOVE being the most painful thing. I experienced it right there but I was too late to give it back. I was ready to end my life. Abi, the love of my life. I am unworthy to deserve you. I failed to understand you. I was being too selfish and didn’t really care about you. Why did you love me this much? That day left an unbearable pain. Every day I feel something lost without Abi beside me. There was no meaning in living, tears were my only companion. Every single thing reminded me of her.
Do you know there is a saying ‘behind every successful man is a strong woman’? ABI was that women but I was too late to feel the quote for myself. Abi, this story is dedicated to you. The one girl, I will always love forever. Assure you that I will live the life you wanted me to accept but without you filling in it is incomplete. Wish death counts me early. I LOVE YOU, ABI.
