The Adventures of the Engineering and Tech Class Heros

Chapter 1 - The Day We All Met

Finnley Jelly: (Looking down at the class schedule) Room 10239349840727. Oh wait it's upside down. (Flips the schedule over) Room 51, well in that case...I don't give a fudge sundae! Stupid asset schedule, don't know how to show any correct ship. (Rips up schedule into tiny pieces and tosses in the air)

Boss: Oh Shit! Free crack bitches! (Runs towards a pile of paper and scoops it up into a line.)

Duby: Oh my pickle, did someone create a fresh line for me? I was going a bit limp anyways. (Walks towards the line, dragging her limp leg behind her)

Bobby Jack: Hey Onedirect'Queisha...do we really have to go to class today? It's only the first day. I mean it don't matter if we absent.

Onedirect'Queisha: Nope, sadly it matters Bobby Jack. (Pats her friend on the shoulder) They pick seats on the first day. It's not only important to be there but we also have to- OH SHIT IS THAT HARRY?! (Points at Duby)

Duby: (Sees a woman pointing at her) I ain't done nothing the law said I couldn't.

Onedirect'Quiesha: Oh my lady parts. You're Harry right? I can tell by your limp. No one else has a limp like him!

Duby: ...Bitch you crazy. Did you not take yo meds or something? Clearly I'm not no Larry or Jerry, or even Carrie. My name is Duby, Duby McBigboner. The names not only my last, it's a trademark. See my limp leg right here, (points to limp leg); it's really a big boner. Well... it works the same way as a boner except when I get hard it's not a bad thing.

Onedirect'Quiesha: Oh I'm sorry, I just thought since you had the totally obvious limp that you were my husband Harry. See he's a part of a man-band. He also ran away a few times, but he always comes back...after being shocked with a few electrical cords and tied up in a sack. It's just, he's been gone for a while now and my closet is just feeling so empty.

Duby: (Pats her on the head) I'm sorry; I feel your pain... no literally... I need an erection soon. I don't think I can handle dragging my leg around for much longer.

Cocoa Butter: (Walks towards the classroom with a clip board in her hand and a boy at her side) why are we all in the hallway? (Gives the boy the keys) Peanut go unlock the door.

Peanut: (Takes the keys and unlocks the classroom door) It's open. (He walked into the room and shut the door behind him) Now it's closed.

Cocoa Butter: Yo Nephew, if you don't unlock this door I'm sending you back with chu momma, today.

Peanut: (opens the door slowly)

Cocoa Butter: (Grabs the door and opens it fully) You better (Glares at Peanut) Take your little 4'11 sized butt and go sit in the front.

Peanut: (Walks slowly over to his seat, stealing glances at the people at the door)

Cocoa Butter: (Takes pen off the clipboard and reads off the list) Finnley Jamerson?

Jelly: It's actually Jelly.

Cocoa Butter: And I'm Beyoncé. (Checks name off list) You're sitting in the very back near the closet door. (Looks up at Jelly) GO SIT DOWN!

Jelly: Yes Ma'am, I mean Sir, I mean teacher lady man thing...(runs to seat)

Cocoa Butter: Duby...McBigboner?

Duby: Right here pretty lady. (slides over to Ms. Butter) And yes, my leg is finally erect.

Cocoa Butter: (Checks name off the list) You sit in the center.

Duby: I'd rather sit near yo-

Cocoa Butter: I SAID CENTER NOW MOOOOVE.

Duby: Alright. (Moonwalks into classroom)

Cocoa Butter: Onedirect'Quiesha Neilson? What type of name is that?

Ondirect'Quiesha: I know, it's a bit of a tongue twister. Truth be told I'd change it if I could.

Cocoa Butter: Sweetie if I was you it would have been changed already.

Ondirect'Quiesha: I know but I'm actually waiting before I change it.

Cocoa Butter: Waiting for what?

Ondirect'Quiesha: Waiting for Godot. (For my IB English buddies out there)

Cocoa Butter: Wat?

Ondirect'Quiesha: Sorry, habit, I'm actually waiting for my one true love.

Cocoa Butter: Yeah, yeah whatever. Just go sit next to the window or something.

Ondirect'Quiesha: Walks towards the window.

Cocoa Butter: Hmph...Neilson...good luck with a name like that. Next is...Boss?

Boss: (Rubs nose) Right here. Sorry had to go finish some unfinished business that was meant to be finished. Cause if it wasn't finished then it would be finished. But not the finished-finished more like the 'oh no we're finished!' type of finished...ya understand me?

Cocoa Butter: (Checks name off the list) Shut the headboard up and go sit in the back. You know what, go to the back corner and don't say anything during class. I'll be sure to mark you accordingly. And where is your last name? How are you gonna take the RSAMSTTESSHTT?

Boss: The what?

Cocoa Butter: The Really Stupid and Meaningless Standardized Test That Every School System Has To Take.

Boss: Oh I already took those. I passed with the highest score in my grade.

Cocoa Butter: What was that?

Boss: A two, no one else in my grade took the test. So I have the highest score.

Cocoa Butter: (Makes notes next to name) Next we have...

Boss: I never fini-

Cocoa Butter:... Bobby'Loresia McSharkla Jack?

Bobby Jack: Just call me Bobby

Cocoa Butter: I'll call you Jack

Boss: Just call her both.

Cocoa Butter: You sit infront of my desk, please go find your seat and start reading what's on the board. (Places pen back on clipboard and walks into the room)

Bobby Jack: (Follows behind her, closing the classroom door)

Boss: You forgot something!