You And Me Through The Eyes Of A Song

Although I’ve never been an open-sharer, some things are so pure and so close to your heart that you can’t help but write about them. One such thing to me has always been music, and only a few of them have managed to affect every bit of neurons I possess.

“Maana ke hum yaar nahi” is special to me, not only because my emotions relate to the lyrics, but also because it’s a journey- of me being all sad and teary listening to it, to me accepting everything that has happened and letting go. In short, it’s been a journey from tears to smile, from frowns to joy.

“Raste mei jo milo toh haat milane ruk jana, saath mei koi ho tumhare door se hi tum muskana”- this line tho. My existence was in 2017/18 but my soul had already seen what was there to come in the future. We would most likely be strangers, my instincts were clear since the beginning. So if you see me somewhere across the road years later, will you stop by to shake hands? Or will we, ‘best friends/question mark’ really act like strangers? If you’ll be with someone else will you acknowledge what we had in front of her? Moreover, if you smile, let it come from the heart, a smile that reflects that all negative energies have been forgiven and forgotten.

Chances are that the memories we have had might convert into dust, so will you have the audacity to remove them and keep them fresh for the sake of everything we had? If anyone mentions my name how will you address them? Better keep me a mystery, just like everything between us was- a mystery.

And the only line of the song which reflected my present self back then, also the line which hit like a storm- “Tu jo soye to meri tarha, ek pal ko bhi karaar nahi.” Boy, you never knew what I went through and I don’t think you ever will. You will never recognize those dried out tears I’ve laid in the objects that you now count as my memories. You will never get to know about those restless nights I’ve had, when I went from a girl who actually used to be called ‘Kumbhkarn’ by her mom, to a girl who barely got any sleep. My sleep, as like our ‘relationship’ was a middle ground- I was never deprived of it, yet I never had it.

“Maana ke hum yaar nahi, lo tey hai ke Pyaar nahi.” As the song goes, I admit we were never friends, there was no love. It also makes me think, was there no love or just the mere absence of acceptance of it? Whatever it was, I now listen to this utterly beautiful song, smile, and make my peace with everything and everyone, including you.