Lost But Finally Found

Chapter One

I don't know what I'm doing in this world. I think that I'm here by mistake, it should be some body else not me , I feel so numb. I have been like this for ever, I never talked about it to anyone, I just keep it to my self. Every day I do the same things over and over I wake up, get ready to go to the worst place ever I think you already know it (school just in case) it's the most chaotic place ever, Hundreds of teenagers with different personalities, different minds, different interests... everyone struggling to pass this shitty period of their shitty lifes. Well it's my last year here, after that I have no idea what I'm gonna do next , After seven years of high school. I need a break from education which I just find exhausting and I'm not even sure I want to do the whole university thing. I just don't know what I'll do otherwise. I think part of aversion is down to my certainty that I won't get in. I don't get good grades so why bothering my self with a degree I'll never be able to do? I don't even know If I could graduate. I am so lost, And I don't want to work behind a desk 8 hours a day for the rest of my life and come back to my house exhausted wanting to do nothing except sleep, It's my favorite thing ever doing nothing just laying on bed, forgetting the whole world like there is nothing, just me and my bed. It's 7.58 now shit, I'm going to be late, I don't want to hear another lecture from the principal, I had enough of him for the past years uughhhh. Thank god that I can go to school with my pj and my school is so close to my house. I just go by foot. I arrived just in time thank god. I have 2 hours of French now, fuck I can't bare this teacher he speaks so quite and slow, I can't understand a word, he makes me feel sleepy and I can't sleep in his class, if he caught me, straight to the principal, I just keep my mind busy by thinking or sketching. Finally the 2 hours came to an end, and I'm starving I didn't eat my breakfast and my dinner from last night no wonder I'm so skinny. I have 2 dollars in my bag and the vending machine is in the hallway. Every one is talking rn I'm so curious what are they talking about. I don't talk much well i actually don't have any friends I find it weird to talk to someone for over a minute cause I have nothing to talk about. I just bought a biscut and a chocolate bar. The second period just started, I'm feeling bored already, I just slept until the 2 hours finished thank God the teacher didn't notice me. It's lunch time and I didn't bring my lunch, I was running late in the morning I just ate the left of the chocolate bar. The third period started, the 3 period just ended, the 4 period started and ended. Well this is how my day at school been and it has been like this for 11 years. I'm in my home right now I ate lunch and went to sleep.