In case I don't get another chance (Deamus oneshot)

Deamus-oneshot

Seamus closed his eyes, feeling nauseas from the frantic bustle that blurred into lines of colours. It didn't help much, he could still hear the padding of people's feet as they ran past, the shuffling of supplies and the rushed goodbyes. He breathed deeply once, twice trying and failing to calm the heartbeat pulsing in his ears.

He had to do this. He couldn't back down now. He had to take his chance, in case he lost it for good.

Seamus forced his eyes open and onto Dean. God, he'd missed him. The last year had been hell without him. The carrows had taken over the school and every day he was forced to fight them to stay strong enough to make it through. A couple weeks ago it grew too dangerous to oppose the carrows openly, forcing the new D.A. now under Seamus's supervision to hold out in the room of requirement. There was never a moment of rest, of relief, or even enough time to wonder, to worry to hope all there was, was survival.

Yet, somehow Seamus still found his mind plagued by images of Dean. Of their life before the war, Dean's laugh light and carefree as it carried through the open area of the Gryffindor common room. He wondered if wherever Dean was, had been able to laugh like that, to live without the weight of guilt and loss on his shoulders. If wherever Dean was, was anything like the last year at Hogwarts than he knew it was impossible. But he couldn't help but hope that Dean was happy, that he was safe, as safe as a muggle born could be. The memories though they were happy hurt to think about, to acknowledge how much their lives had changed in a single year. He didn't even know what Dean had been through, if it had changed him or broken him. All he knew was that he himself had changed and he figured Dean had to.

Sometimes, when everything calmed for a moment, when he was supposed to be asleep, his thoughts would run wild and rampant conjuring up images too horrifying to look past. He could see Dean hurt, tortured in ways so similar to what his life had become. He could see him trapped, captured thrown in an empty cell slowly rotting away. And the worst of all that he couldn't seem to stop imagine was Dean's body lying lifeless on the floor.

He tried everything he could think of to avoid the image the thought that maybe he'd already lost Dean. He'd work no one stop for days til he passed out from exhaustion and the images escaped into his dreams, growing, darkening, twisting. He'd tried all the spells he could think of that may help him sleep, he even tried brewing a potion from the ingredients the D.A. wasn't using. But nothing ever seemed to work. All he could see was Dean, hurt, destroyed, broken, dead. He scared himself far more than the carrows or the war or evengoddamnvoldermortever could

                        ** *

Seamus was laying awake in his hammock staring at the ceiling as he swayed from side to side, when Neville spasmed nearly flipping his hammock upside down barely managing to grab onto the sides and steady himself.

Seamus sat forward rubbing his eyes. "What happened are you okay? Did you have another nightmare?"

"Luna sent a message from the fake galleons, she's with Dean their coming to Hogwarts to fight."

Frantically Seamus turned to Nevilletippingdangerously. "She's with Dean. Are you sure?"

"That's what she said."

"Dean's okay."

Neville's voice softened "Yeah, Dean's okay."

For the first time in weeks Seamus felt hopeful, Dean was alive and he was okay and he was coming to Hogwarts. Sadly, Seamus knew they wouldn't have time to reconnect, they had a war to fight.

* * *

Seamus had spent the last few days watching the tunnel into Hogwarts, waiting for Dean and Luna to arrive. The second he saw Dean step into the room he ran straight towards him, causing Dean to letoutanumph as he struggled not to topple from the added weight.