the feeling of death was much more pleasant than most people rumor it to be. like a release, similar to jumping off a rope swing into a cold spring except the water a white frozen nothingness. i figured this was it and id get to float in nothingness until the end of time but a black screen manifested infront of me moments later. a short summary appears reading
"you have died and left your human body behind, welcome to the review, you may make any adjustments to your life you desire with the keyboard provided before moving on"
a keyboard also manifested in front of me and i can now see my hands again, much cleaner than moments before covered in my own blood. 'moving on?' i thought, moving onto what? is this not the after life? before being able to give it much thought i see my mother appear on the screen, still young and optimistic holding me in the hospital room. i feel a wave of what can only be sadness flow through my being as i havent see her in years, i miss her. it keeps going and i see my father too holding me and still looking like he cares. it keeps going and i sit back watching myself grow up yearning for the childlike innocence again, i learn to walk and talk, i make friends, my dad leaves. in elementary school i became interested in art and win state wide awards. in middle school i became depressed and started hurting myself and also got into drugs, i dropped out after graduating 8th grade and became homeless, staying with anyone who will have me and ended
up getting molested by a boy much older than me because of it, i didn't feel like i had choice. i have a choice now to change it but i dont. after watching myself go thru a couple boyfriends i find a rly nice boy at 18 that loves me and we stay together, i go to art school after we leave my hometown and pull myself together, i started enjoying life even after everything id been thru and everything i had learned made me the person i was. i died young in a car accident with my friends, hit by a drunk driver on the interstate, i dont know if my boyfriend died, i hope so bc we always said we couldn't live without eachother. as i watch my final moments i realize i haven't changed anything, simply relived the moments i loved and remembered the things that made me who i am. the screen and keyboard disappear and a door opens up very far away but also right next to me at the same time and i see a figure of pure light emerge, a feeling of concern washes over me colder than death and a voice inside me says "why have you not changed anything?" i knew it was coming from the being and i respond, speaking in my mind "why would i? then i wouldn't be the person i am? i didnt enjoy my life but i dont want to be anyone else" it ponders for a moment just floating in the endless white, which is starting to feel like thick ooze surrounding me, than says "you give us nothing to go off, we do not know how to place you so come with me, you'll suffocate in the review chamber if you stay too long" suddenly as if a string was tied to me im pulled towards the light and thru the door. on the other side is not what i expected, a busy bumbling office made of all white is stirring with work and chatter, the being i was conversing with is now standing before me, a short black women with poofy hair and a puzzled look on her face. "i made it so we look like humans to you so you're more comfortable, follow me" we weave thru cubicles that seem to go on forever and end up infront of the biggest door ive ever seen, its almost translucent with light but i cant see thru it, it hurts to look at for too long. "wait here while i talk to big man and we will see you shortly" she walks through the door like a ghost and im left alone. big man? i thought, i don't believe in god so i dont know whats about to happen but next thing i know the door is swinging open at an agonizing speed and i step in.
a desk sits in the middle of the room and a swivel chair spins around, another black woman is sitting down with a wide smile on her face and i see the woman i spoke to before close the door behind us.
"welcome to the afterlife dear" she says first gesturing to the chair in front of the desk for me to sit. "you are rare, i havent had a human not make a change in 2,000 years, all humans are so unhappy with their lives recently and thats why they dont make it in" she glances at some papers on her desk then continues "we place you in what most humans call 'heaven or hell' by what you change in the review, most humans give themselves endless riches, vessel modifications, and 'beautiful women', but you chose to learn from your heartaches and accepted the trials you were put thru, i am not human so i cannot know why you chose to do this but i now give you a choice, you may go to the "heaven" with your fellow humans or become a reviewer like the lovely who showed you to me"
i ponder for a moment wondering what i would like to do for the rest of eternity then come to the conclusion, im tired. i dont want to do anything anymore, i want to lay down and not feel anymore.
"i want to die" i reply, her grin fades "what do you mean" she replies "most humans dont even see past the review chamber, you will be able to help dictate how life on planet earth and others like it go for the rest of time, infinite knowledge, i would really love you on our team"
"im very sorry miss, but i really just dont want to feel the pressure anymore, life was hard enough and now i understand it was all just a test of my strength, and i dont think im strong enough to help u" i stand up quickly, a sudden feeling of action comes over me, i dont need to be here they dont need me, i turn around and dash for the door again running thru it as the woman had dont before but the pristine office is now just white endlessly with beings floating around and bumping into eachother, i spot the door to the review chamber and kick off
drifting thru the airy abyss gently pushing light blobs out of the way then land on the chamber door, i look back to see blobs rushing towards me with a now deep orange color to them and i waste no time swinging the door open and flinging myself in
the review chamber is now black, warm and damp, the substance holding me is thick but i can still breath it, a familiar taste of copper hits my senses, i start to feel something, my toes and fingers? a pounding in what i know is my head fades in i start to feel my heart beat again than- i take the harshest deepest breath of my entire life, its so bright, i hear a beeping and multiple people saying things i cant make out yet, everything is blurry and my stomach is weak, "shes awake!!" i hear and i finally can see the ambulance around me, i turn my head to see my beautiful boyfriend in tears holding my hand "baby i never thought id see you again!!!" im in so much pain but for the first time, im happy to be alive.
