RANDOMT THOUGHTS

UNCHOOSING

The first thought in my mind popped the day that I felt that I've never been choose.

~UNCHOOSING~
"How can I find my worth in this kind of society?"
I'm nothing in this world,living in a cruel society I was born in a happy family,but behind those happy times, there was a hidden secret.
I'm a daughter of a father who have a good heart and a happy face he was my knight and shining armor when it comes to the trouble I encountered when I was a kid.
But when I grown up everything was changed ,when my knight and shining armor turn in to my enemy in an emotional feeling,he always says that "no matter what happened,I will not feel you that no one choose you"but I failed by trusting and believing those words of his.when the years goes by he keep telling me that my sister is better than me,he keeps of comparing me to her.he always says that I'm useless compared to her.
In that night I felt upset,when hearing those words of his.whenever I heard those words I can't help but to burst secretly,I keep on crying ,and it's heavy in my chest.I don't know what's with me?am I that useless to compared me to her?I already give my best just to make him proud but still he still choose her over me,am I that selfish?I felt nothing in this kind of society.
How can I find myself,when my own father give me a reason to stop believing those beliefs?
Even my family didn't choose me when I needed them the most.even my grandma that I think a trusted one is the one who keep on saying a "discouraging"comment.no one can hear my cry,because no one can s I how the feeling when no one is choosing you.