The Nothing Gang

Comedians in Cars

"To all those here, I know you might have expected your favorite comedian to come up. But it's the noob's turn today!"

"Hey all, I'm Priya. But patients with depression may know me as Dr. Priyadarshini Maithreyan, B. Sc. Psychology. Yup, I'm a psychiatrist by day and a comedian by night. But that does not mean I'm rich. Because I live in a car!"

"Yes, I live in a car. I had to leave my studio apartment only because I am not able to find a place that satisfies me. But there's no difference between living in a car and in a rented apartment, believe me."

"Both have a lot of expenses. You see, paying for your car's petrol expenses is almost the same as paying rent for your apartment. Whoa, too expensive! And also, both are untidy, except that you don't really need to clean your car because you can't have guests or roommates in. Your backseat becomes your sofa cum bed, your laptop or smartphone is your TV, and what more do you want than cool air conditioning, private space and a Netflix account to survive?"

***************************

Preethi was getting ready for a new thing. This thing she was doing to domwas something different from her timetable. Now, she had to reconfigure the schedule in her Apple Watch. Just then, she heard her door slam. It was her neighbor Shetty.

"Preethi, I just got a new idea for a business. You, young lady, you're my accountant, secretary. You're everything!"

"Ohh, that's interesting. What is the nature of the business?"

"I'm gonna call it MYOB!"

"Make your own bag?"

"It's MAKE YOUR OWN BIRIYANI!!!! All you have to do is, we give you the cooked rice, you get to choose your desired ingredients for the masala! How's it?"

"Oh! I'm sorry! But I'm vegetarian. How can I support your idea? And also you can't guarantee the cleanliness there! The thought of it just makes me go, uugh!"

" Ummmm...... Okay. But do you mind if I take some potato chips from you?"

"No way, Shetty! I'd rather let you watch Netflix on my TV. But I'll not give you my potato chips!"

"Baah!"

"Shetty, no, no, nooooooooo!!!!!!"

At the clinic:

As our Dr. Priya was going through her appointments for the day, she happened to find a peculiar person at her reception. The peculiar person wore an Apple Watch, had a Quechua bag and was clearing it out like a "What's in my bag" vlog.

The person happened to find a chocolate bar from her bag. But then her face turned anxious. Priya thought she was searching for something and guessed it right. Then she called up her receptionist.

"Hey, can you do me a favour? Just look at that girl out there. She's searching for something. Just observe her actions and tell me."

The receptionist replied, "There's no need to observe. She's coming near me. I'm keeping the phone without disconnecting. You just listen."

"Hello, I'm Preethi. And I'd like to use your table. "

"What?"

"I have a chocolate bar to eat. And I'd like to use your table."

"Ummm, okay"

Preethi sat in front of the table, took a plastic plate, spoon and fork, kept the bar on the plate and cut a piece from it.

"Here you go!". She shared a piece with the receptionist.

"May I know your name please?"

"I'm Anjana. And you?"

"Hi, I'm Preethi. I'm a CA, CMA and a CS."

"Whoa, interesting. And you're the first patient too!"

"I'm always on time. I don't like procrastinating."

"Hmm, now that's a good habit of eating chocolate."

"Yes, you see, using a spoon and fork, your hands don't get icky. And also, the chances of spilling the chocolate are 0.000001."

"Wow! Oh, you're in now!

"All right then. See you later, friend!"

"Friend! Awww, come on!"

Inside the room:

"May I come in, doctor?"

"Yes, yes, yes, yes! Please introduce yourself!"

"Hello, I'm Preethi. I'm a CA, CMA, and CS. And I don't have friends."

"Oh, that's too sad. Please take a seat "

But Preethi went and laid on the couch in the corner.

"Hmm. Okay, so you've been regularly going for counseling to another colleague of mine."

"Yes, I was."

"And you were sent here by your boss because the counselor in your office was unable to bear your brunt."

"Ohh, I thought she took maternity leave."

"Okay, what is your problem?"

"I don't have a friend, doctor!" She started crying.

"Okay, okay, stop crying now. I'm there for you."

Preethi continued crying. The crying slowly turned into a howling.

"Stop it, stop it, STOP IT!!!"

"Okay, okay!". Preethi wept.

"There you go, a chocolate." Priya gave a chocolate bar to Preethi.

"Oh, thank you. But I don't have a spoon and fork to eat it."

"You can eat them later."

"Okay."

"So, what question did you ask to the counselor that she ran away?"

"I asked her whether she could be my roommate. Provided she'd sign an agreement."

"Okay. So what kind of agreement is that?

"The Roommate Agreement will help me to properly assign the rights and duties of a roommate. It is a 73 paged contract that you'll have to sign if you want to stay in my apartment. She agreed to do it and even visited my apartment. But I gave her the agreement to sign but she left without even informing me. That's not fair!"

"Yes, I totally agree. She shouldn't have run away like that. Maybe the agreement freaked her out."

"You seem to be a very friendly person." Preethi's face brightened.

"Thanks for the compliment." But only Priya knew how bad her days were listening to patients.

"Okay, Preethi. The problem is that, you're feeling alone. So, here's my card. You can contact me whenever you feel you want someone to speak with. And you can also catch my stand-up comedy shows in the weekends."

Preethi took the card, then took a cardholder from her bag. The cardholder was filled almost up to the brim.

"Thank you, friend! Also I'd like it if you'd become my roommate!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold it! I am just your therapist. And I don't like to take my relationship with you to another level."

"Hmm, okay."

Little did Priya knew that Preethi was going to create a huge impact in her life.