I've been overthinking.and if you know me,you know that's the source of 90% of my problems-the other 10% comes from where I live.I won't dare to call it home.anyway,overthinking.you may think of a business man or a housewife when you read or hear that word,but I,think of teenagers.the insecure,full of pressure and bubbly teenagers.Including myself.I overthink over,literally,every single thing.regardless of my IQ and what I've been taught,I can't help it.and it's gotten worse.my head hurts 24/7,and I'm not okay with that.
My overthinking happens when I am sad or anxious or paranoid over something/someone.when I'm one of those the other two come together like waves drowning my strenght.sometimes they are really rough and they won't come in waves but yes in tsunami tides.and it is kind of hard but I am not alone.I have sources of support.my friends are so familiar with my crysis they already know what to do.
"I'm not okay"
"mia,don't you dare"
"I won't"
"ok now cheer up,c'mon,go read or somethin you nerd"
And that's more than enough for me.
that's why I'm hanging on.haven't been cutting myself.I try not to say cutting because it hurts my chest,but it is what it is.eventually I will have to deal with the fact I did.but It is too soon to even think about looking back at it,like it is something that happened a long time ago.I might look 6 inches behind me.
I didn't write anything about christmas.I was really tired,but no one fought.I was sleepy,but no one fought.and it was the best christmas because no one fought.and yes fighting in my family comes naturally.I got some new shoes,a vintage little box and money for books.not much.regardless,no one fought.
New years eve was lonely no one cared much about it,but once again,no one fought.and I would rather be lonely than in a family mosh pit.that's my relatives relationship in one word.they all get mad,argue then fight.and someone gets really hurt.not physically but emotionally.you can get emotional scars too.I guess that's what I feel inside like.my emotions gathering and smashing onto the walls of my brain making me feel out of control and sweaty...and oh,I hate sweat.
I live thanks to painkillers,books and my friends,also my boyfriend.I guess I couldn't ask for much more.my family doesn't fight.I just wish the ones in my head didn't too.
YOU ARE READING
Glory & Gore
Non-FictionMia is a normal girl,or so you think.Mia kathryn is 17 years old and is,in fact,an unique girl.when she finds her old notebook she keeps it and starts dragging it everywhere she goes.haunted by who she is,who she wants to be and who her ghosts tell...
