For Eternity<3

Chapter 8

This is a filler chapter so it's a bit short

Later this evening, Jakon and I went back to his house to get my stuff then he dropped me off at my place. I was really happy that I was by myself. I really do like spending time with him but when I'm with him, he is the only thing on my mind so I haven't really had time to reflect on previous events.

As I made a sandwich for my dinner, Devins mention of the party that I was clueless about beforehand kept coming to my mind. I found myself making up excuses as to why Jakon didn't tell me. None of them quite explained itself nor did they answer my question. I never really know about parties until after they happen mostly because no one wants to invite me to them also just because im never really interested into going to one.

I hate that Jakon continues to cloud my mind. I am constantly thinking of him. I know it's not healthy but sometimes I can't help but overthink on these certian situations.

Marcel came to my mind. I really should hang out with him. I don't want to get wrapped up with Jakon so much that I shut everything else out of my life.

I put the paper plate I was eating my food off of in the garbage can and headed to the living room to get started on my laundry while watching some television.

No matter what I think about my brain continues to tie the topic to Jakon. I know when we graduate I can't continue to see him. He's too much of a distraction for me. I want to push him away now, to stop this relationship from forming any longer. When I'm with him though, I'm blissfully happy and I can't keep my mind off of him.

I have questions running through my train of thoughts. Does he actually like me or am I just a game? Is he just fooling with me so his friends can have a laugh? I would like to not think this way. I try to think that I'm just insecure and paranoid but Jakon has given me a reason to not trust him. Any time his "friends" are around he is a completly different person. He's distant and acts coldly towards me.

Is he trying to hide our relationship?

I attempt to force away the negative thought but I keep coming back to it. Maybe Jakon is embarrassed of me. How could he not be? I'm the weird kid. I'm supposed to be the loser. Also everyone at that rotten school is homophobic and unaccepting even though my sexuality has nothing to do with them.

I'm distracted by headlights casting through the window on the wall. I turn my head to look outside and see my mother's car. I jump off the couch and head out to the driveway to help her with her bags. She gets out of the car. As she sees me, a smile spreads across her face.

"Hi dear have you missed me?" She greets me. I nod and kiss her cheek as she heads past me to set her things in the house. I get the last two bags out of the trunk and go inside as well.

When I walk in she's in the kitchen eating chips talking on her phone. I make a couple of trips upstairs to her room to set her luggage in there.

Once I finish with the task at hand, I walk downstairs into the kitchen. My mother sets her phone down hanging up on the caller and sighs. She rubs her forehead with a tired look. I decided to make conversation.

"So I thought you were going to be home tomorrow," I say as a question implying her to elaborate on my statement.

She looks up at me instantly becoming cheerful. Probably happy she can talk about something other than work. "Well I got everything done and decided to come home. I didn't want you to be stuck here by yourself feeling lonely. Plus I was thinking maybe we could go see a movie tomorrow or something."

If only she knew I was at Jakons house. I quickly pushed back my thoughts giving my attention to the conversation."yeah we could go to the movies. Sounds fun." I couldn't turn her down. She sounded so excited plus I need to do something other than spend time with just Jakon and with my mother consistently having to travel she and I don't have that much time to create a bond.

Yawning, I noticed my eyelids feeling droopy. I have suddenly become extremely tired. My exhaustion hit me like a train. After me and my mom work our plans out for tomorrow I inform that I'll be going to bed.

I headed upstairs and walked into my room. Im aware that as soon as I try to go to sleep I will overthink on my current situation and possibly bring up old ones from 10 years ago. I genuinely don't understand why my brain does this to me.

I change out of my clothes and slide into bed. Might as well try to get some sleep. I close my eyes and just hope my mind can shut up long enough.