***Troye's P.O.V.***
I have the note with me. It wasn't going to be long before he gave up. Before it was the last straw. I didn't know what it was that pushed him to the edge. I just know that whatever it was, was the reason he stopped trying.
I remember the day. The day it happened. He was sitting in the kitchen eating away at the breakfast he so thoughtfully made for us. I walked in and the smile on his face when he saw me made a smile spread across my face equally as wide as his, if not bigger.
"Goodmorning" He said.
"Goodmorning Tilly" I kissed his lips quickly before making myself coffee.
"I have to go to the studio today"
"Alright" he acted as if nothing happened, as if everything was just peachy keen.
I got myself ready for the day, to sing the songs I had written about Tyler. It was about Tyler the whole time. He was my best friend, then he was my boyfriend. Then he was my fiancé. And then he was my husband.
And when I got home I searched the whole house. I called his name and he never answered. That's when I went up to our room. The door was locked and I took the key, tears already forming in my eyes before I even saw the sight. Then I got the door open. And there he was.
Laying on the bed the pills across the bed. The gun to his head. The blood gave it away. But I still had hope he was alive. But when I walked over to his side and I felt his pulse. My hand against his cold skin. And that's when I wanted to take the gun and put it to my head. But I didn't.
And now I'm sitting on the bed that he killed himself, After his funeral. The gun lays under the bed. After everything is done. And I'm grasping the note. I haven't read it.
Dear Troye,
"I'm so sorry that this is the last way you will hear from me.
I want you to know its not your fault. Oh dear god, Troye don't think it's your fault. Your the reason I stayed on this earth. Troye, your my everything. Troye, I love you to the moon and back. There isn't a way to describe my love for you. You make me feel like nothing I ever have.
I would have pulled that trigger a long time ago if it wasn't for you. There's a few things I want you to do for me. Adopt a child. I always knew you would be a great dad. You always had a great sense with children. It may be hard all alone, but I believe in you Troye. Tell everyone else that I love them. Tell them it wasn't their fault. It was my own, It was all my own. I don't want you to stay sheltered in your room.
I gave Connor a separate note. It's not nearly as meaningful as this one. But it tells him to be there for you. Because I know you are going to need someone. But I promise you Troye, you'll do great things. Within your career. You've always been a go getter, and don't let this change who you are. Please, please don't let this change you Troye, You are the most perfect human I have ever met.
I want you to remember I will be with you. Through everything. I love you Troye. Nothing is ever going to change that. Even if you get remarried or whatever. I will always love you. I'm sorry I had to say goodbye like this Troye. I truly am. Once more, I love you, this is my final goodbye.
Keep this note, reread it when you need me. Look at the pictures on the mantle anything, do anything you need to, to stay alive. If you need any reminders of me, just sing your amazing music. Go to my family. Pictures, birthday cards, gifts, You can even wear my clothes. I love you Troye, and it's not your fault."
I take the gun and rub my hand around the barrel. I have to stay strong for Tyler. But I can't. I can't take it. I put it up to my head. My fingers are placed ever so elegantly on the trigger. I almost press down. But instead I lower it down.
I'll be strong.
I have to be strong.
"I'll be strong for you Tilly"
