The Nothing Gang

This is YOUR WEAPON.

"Now, what do you think is the most ridiculous weapon ever to counter something? PUBG players, I know your answer is a pan. But we are talking about real life here, people. We try to defend ourselves from weirdoes and we make plans that are competitive even to NITI Aayog! But all that is WASTED when you realize just a ₹25 Tetra Pak drink is more than enough to stop them! Feel the BGM."

"And it's worse with those people with OCD. You need to buy the right brand, right flavour and even check the expiry date in order to satisfy them. Even if in case you miss an aspect, you're doomed!"

"They begin lecturing us on why that brand and flavour is best and all the biology comes out once the topic of checking the expiry date comes up. Your stomach may get damaged, OMG you'll get food poisoning. And what's worse, once they finish it, they'll realise it was a plot to kill them. "Wait a minute, were you just trying to assassinate me with a pack of expired strawberry milkshake?". The acting they do, they think they're descendants of Julius Caesar. Now, that's the last resort to be used to kill someone you hate. But it's cheap. You don't have to incur unnecessary expenses by buying a rifle or a gun."

"Imagine your enemy is running towards you to hit you. All you have to do is, pull them towards you, open their mouth and, yes, feed them a ₹25 expired Tetra Pak drink. Now, that's what I call a knock out!"

*************************************

As Preethi brought out the agreement, Priya realised that she got content for her next show.

"Just go through the agreement and sign every place you see the words, "Sign here:"

Priya sat on the couch to read the agreement. But then Preethi rushed towards her.

"My spot!" She shouted.

"Whaaaat?"

"Yes, you are sitting in my spot."

"Why is THIS place "specifically" your spot?"

"Because it's most proximate to the TV remote sensor and the TV remote works well. Also it's the nearest to the bathroom, my bedroom and the kitchen. And also I get the right amount of air when I open the terrace doors."

"Awwww, come on!"

"Okay, move, move, scoot scoot. Shoo, shoo."

Priya continued reading the agreement. She then noticed a weird law.

"Hey Preetz, what's this act that says NNNY Act?"

"It stands for No Netflix Next Year Act. And don't call me Preetz. It's Preethi Miriam Alphonse Thomas."

"I'll call you Preethi. Happy now? Please explain this law of yours."

"Yes. The No Netflix Next Year Act states that any person who commits unlawful action within the jurisdiction of the apartment and within the risk of the lawmaker shall be liable to the suspension of the apartment's common Netflix account. I can survive it."

"Ohh, so it's like, if you get angry at me for something, you'll show it on the Netflix subscription. Then what if, you turn on the TV next year, and it asks you to subscribe to Netflix?"

"Oh no! I didn't think of that! I'm forgetting everything! I'm beginning to grow old! Oh lord!" Preethi panicked.

"What's your age again?" Priya asked.

"I'm turning 29 this October."

"Whoa, that's a very old age!" Priya replied sarcastically.

"Ain't it?" Preethi replied without understanding.