As each day passes more and more darkness begins to fill the void that is my heart each day constantly called an assortment of different names and verbal obscenities no one can truly understand my friend/ex/ person I still love I am in a constant state of regret and guilt for the decisions I made whilst I was young I ended up hurting and breaking her heart back in sixth grade I know it was a long time ago this happened but those scars on my heart and body never let me forget that day I do my best to be there for her every ex every heartbreak trying to be her shoulder to cry on and her brother to go to when all esle seems lost despite my feelings for her I help her with relationship problems even though each time it Burns and scars my beaten blackened and shattered heart I have gotten so used to it I hardly notice it anymore the same with all other emotions but the one thing I can still feel is not the pain of a blade or the taste of pills but my heart slowly turning to ash and dust scattering to unknown planes of existence even as I type it still Feels almost as if it's harrowing my own fate if she could see all that Iam typing she would probably say Iam some obsessive ex all I ask for is her happiness I'd go through any pain endure any weather and fight all fears to give it to her until finally death gives me rest and even then I will never truly be forgiven by her grace not really deep down even if she uttered those simple yet powerful words she will never truly forgive me for my young and foolish mistakes If by some chance she's reading this I just want you to know that there's no words no mere apology I can give to express my grief stricken heart who mourns the Very vessel it abides in because of hurting you maybe when I die I can be your Guardian angel Watching and protecting you from afar
