Waking Up In Vegas

Chapter 14

Elena's P.O.V.

I never thought that I would be finding myself in this position, leaving his house in a hurry after he just stormed out on me. I know I'm guilty for luring him in like I did, for making him think that I just had feelings for him and only him. But, how can you love someone after a month of being with them, of spending nearly every waking moment with them?

Stefan's been gone for almost a half hour and I find myself shaking from the sudden emptiness I feel, it surrounds me and seems to consume my mind when I pick up my cell phone and I dial Jake's number with my brown eyes blurred from the falling tears...I am stupid woman, I am stupid for thinking that I could love them both. Because, let's face it. In the end, you can only give your heart away to one.

I hear his sleep filled voice on the other end, as I clear my throat, try to make it sound like I haven't been sitting on my "roommates" bed and crying for the past half hour since he left without another word, leaving us both hurt and me feeling his wrath of anger, that I clearly deserved.

"What's wrong, Elena?" Jake's soft voice fills my ears and suddenly I feel sick to my stomach. He's a nice guy, he's a wonderful person who works his ass off just trying to survive. And here I am, taking advantage of him...using him just to figure out my feelings for these two guys that my heart is playing a tug of war with.

"I...uhh...I got into a fight with my roommate and I was wondering If I could come over...I-" I stammer out of my mouth. Listening as Jake exhales deeply, I can picture him running his hands through his blond hair as he does this and I close my eyes to get a better picture of him..But, when I do so, all I can see is Stefan's face in front of my eyes and his green gaze staring back at me with such hurt in them.

I seem to be too lost in his glances. In this mirage of him that's in my head, that I've created an image of, because I barely hear Jake's voice when he speaks directly to me. "I'm coming over now. Please, don't go anywhere. I'll see you soon." He tells me as I exhale another shaky breathe and nod at his words, replying with a weak sound that sounds more like a strangled "okay." and trying to shake off every image of Stefan that's appearing in front of me.

XXXX

I wait there, don't move for a while as I sit there and inhale deeply. But the scent of Stefan, the feeling of being in his room without him being in it. Is killing me both mentally and physically as I slowly get up, wiping at my tears and I walk out of it...closing the door behind me so that I don't need to be haunted by my mistake...for tearing down his hope for us and for ripping out his heart and crushing it with my words that are now making me feel more guilty than anything.

The knock at the door startles me and I jump a bit as I breath out heavily and go to it. Opening the door in one quick motion to see Jake standing there, his blue eyes filled with concern as he steps inside and wraps his arms around me, kissing the top of my head and repeating his question from earlier. "Are you okay? What happened? "

"Yeah, I'm better now. We just got into a huge fight about something and I decided that I can't stay here tonight." I tell him, my voice cracking at the last word as he looks around the house. I know what he's looking for. Jake's making sure that Stefan isn't home and when I quietly tell him that he isn't there. Jake takes my hand into his hands and smiles weakly.

The feeling of his hand against mine, feels dirty all of a sudden, everything about this...Him in this house and us alone, feels disproportionate. So, instead of making him feel my sudden disgust and knowing deep down that I really need to get out of here, I let go of his hand and distance myself with a quick diversion.

"Hey, let me just go grab my bags and then we can leave okay?" I ask, watching when he nods and goes to sit down on the couch without saying a word.

My feet quickly carry me into the spare bedroom as I bend down and pick my pink Victoria Secret bag and another smaller suitcase up and turn to leave the room. But, just when I'm to close the door, I hear Jake clear his throat when he says "I thought that you two were doing okay..Elena, this isn't because of me...Is it?" He asks as he gets up and glances down at his feet, almost as if he's ashamed to look me in the eyes directly.

"Don't be ridiculous. This has nothing to do with you..It's me. It's just something that I said..that I didn't really mean. It got blown out of proportion and he got mad at me. I'm sure that we'll figure it out." I tell him with a smile as I lean forward and grab Jake's unfitting hand into mine, leading him out of the house as I exhale deeply and close my eyes...sending out a silent prayer that I can get my shit together, that my heart can stop playing this game of nonsense with itself and I can decide on who I'm supposed to be with because at the moment, all I want is be standing here with Jake and wishing that I could stop picturing Stefan in his place.

XXXX

The darkness seems to loom around me as I climb into bed that night, watching as Jake turns his back towards me and lets out a loud sigh. "I, uhh..I was thinking that you and I could take a little trip sometime soon. I have family in Chicago and I was planning on visiting them. I mean, I know that you and I have only been dating for like almost two months. But, I'd love it if you came with me to see the sights and stuff." He comments, turning towards me to slip his legs under the covers that I'm already laying under.

My brain can't seem to function at his words. It's like my heart tightens when he says them and he watches me for a while in the dimly lit room. As much as I would love to go with him, to figure out my feelings for him without being worried about Stefan or anything related to him. My sub conscience mind is screaming loudly, drowning out my other thoughts over everything else when it screams "Don't do it, Elena. Say no..say it now...What about Stefan? What about your feelings for him? You can't just disappear on him and think that you have it all figured out...your choices will haunt you."

I feel as Jake grabs my hand into his, squeezing it tightly and giving me a quick kiss on the cheek as he pushes himself away from me and caresses the side of my face in silence with his finger tips. He's waiting for me to respond. But, when he stares at my side profile and I close my eyes to think for a moment about what I should say..my mind races back to a few nights ago before this whole mess started and all I can picture in my mind is Stefan and his smiling face...

"I am not sleeping in that bed with you...I'd rather sleep in the spare bedroom. You have like four rooms, I'm sure I'd be comfortable in one of them!" I commented, throwing down my pillow as he picked it up in his hands and threw it back at me.

"Oh, come on..I won't bite. I won't even try anything..Promise." He says, lifting up his hands in defeat with a laugh as he pushes back the covers and sits down, patting the other side of the bed as I lock my eyes on it and then on him.

"Elena, we've already slept together once, remember our drunken fiasco in Vegas? I already know what you look like naked. I'm not going to try it again unless you want me too." He comments, eye brows raised with a smirk on his face as I exhale deeply, sitting down on his bed with my back turned towards him.

"What's wrong?" He asks, watching the muscles in my back tense as I turn around slowly locking my eyes on his green gaze.

"Nothing, it's nothing.. Good night Stefan." I tell him, turning off the lamp in the room and hearing as he exhales deeply in the dark. I feel him suddenly lean towards me leaving a quick kiss against my cheek when he whispers against my ear, leaving a lingering feeling in my heart when he says in soft tone. "Good night, beautiful."

The memory of that night is quickly washed away as I look up and see Jake staring at me, his blue eyes shining when he says "Think about it. Give yourself a few days and let me know when you're ready."

I nod at him, not saying anything as I pull the blue and unfamiliar covers that smell like him, all around me and lay my head down on his pillows. I sigh out a breath and watch as Jake turns off the light in his room, feel his breath on my skin when he hovers over me and kisses my cheeks, whispering against it in a soft and loving tone."Good night, beautiful."

Suddenly, I'm left with a gaping hole and a feeling of sadness as I look up at him and reply with an automatic response that leaves a bitter taste on my tongue and makes me feel like it's wrong that I'm even in his bed to begin with. I feel like I shouldn't even be in his arms as he wraps them around me and I lean against him saying in a low voice "Good night, Jake."