Trip

sleep

The girl made out of sticks and stretch skin was shaking her sticks almost like she was doing a summoning dance for the ground to swallow her up. The chair she perched on was placed in a sanitised, florescent room; her navy hoodie covering her pale face and curly umber hair. Her green and blue eyes were darting around the room nervously almost like she was about to get attacked by anything at any moment. In her mind even the cushion opposite her, looked threatening. The receptionist brought her eyes out of the tango they were having with the magazine rack.
'Aria Cullen, Dr Wilson is ready to see you now.'
Aria stood up cringing as her eyes blacked out and dots of white lights blurred it's way through her vision. The image slowly return to normal and she started to trudge her way to the Doctors office. She slowly turned the knob to reveal the northern middle aged man with speckles of hair lining his jaw. He looked up from his paper work to view the ghost of a human in front of him.
'Miss Cullen back for your monthly check up,' stated Dr Wilson in his thick northern accent, that felt like warm ice.
'Unfortunately', replies Aria holding back an eye roll.

Aria had been seeing Stephen Wilson for her eating disorder for the past year to her dismay. Stephen wasn't the best in his occupation but had managed to keep Aria afloat while she stayed in Sheffield. She was lucky and privileged that her parents were paying for a private doctor and therapist while she went to school in England.
The Cullen clan was confused why she decided to go all they way to England for college, she had never shown any interest in going college let alone furthering her education in a different country. Aria had done this to get away from strangeness of her family and wanting to distance her self from any form of the vampire lifestyle. Also to stop them breathing down her neck.
Her Granddad, he seemed understand her the most, probably because he could read her internal monologue. Which had mainly consisted of self doubt, piles of anxiety, blurriness, blankness, counting, compulsion of behaviours, loneliness, planning and when she thought he wasn't near, suicidal thoughts.

Aria had suicidal thoughts nearly everyday from the age of 13, she was cursed by them nearly every single bloody day. Aria didn't understand why she was so fascinated with the concept, just because she had mental health problems didn't mean that she had to be cursed by them.

Her hair was falling out from stress and the lack of eating, insomnia had caused bruises under her eyes, her skin was grey and dull, constantly cold, mood swings, lost of her period and friends, constipated.
This life Aria had been living wasn't glamorous or some life to aspire to have or made her some sad skinny pretty girl that just needed a knight shining armour. It made Aria's quality of life poor and painful.

She was hospitalised twice when she was at home, first time was after a suicide attempt, she was in the ER after her first attempt and after she was released from the 74 hour suicide watch she attempt again in the bathroom. Aria was sent to an inpatient unit to hopefully recover from her 'strange eating patterns and 'them' thoughts.
Second time she was hospitalised, was when she had past out at school, 3 times within 2 days and then this led to her being forced to be weighed and examined by her Great Grandad. A total of 90lbs Aria weighed. Carlisle had cringed at the weight and immediately called up the hospital to see if they had a spare bed and informing them on the situation.

Dr Wilson was not happy with Aria's process over the pass 2 months. She had dropped in weight and her therapist was becoming more concerned about her.
"If you lose 5 more pounds I'm contacting your mother and we're having meeting about what to do next" declared Stephen brushing his salt pepper hair back.
"Okay," Aria reply blankly.
"Have you even tried your meal plan?"
"Yes but..."
"But?"
Aria stared back at him and not knowing what to say because realistically she knows there is no real excuse. She knows the consequences of not consuming the right about of calories, protein, carbohydrate, fat, vitamins and minerals etc etc. Your body eats it's fat cells away then your muscle aka your heart, organs start to shut down not functioning efficiently. Hair loss, not being able to walk without it hurting like a bitch, infertility, nerve damage, bradycardia, electrolyte damage, osteoporosis. Then next thing you know you're on your death bed and get told that you have 5 days maximum if you continue this dangerous path.

However, this had never scared Aria, it gave her a sense of 'control'. She couldn't control everything else in her life but she could tip toe between life and death.

Empowerment, courage, resistance, patience, bravery, power, fearless, strength, true control.

Well no, it was god dam stupidity and Aria knew that but would never admit it.
It was never as easy as just as eating. Nothing is as simple as just running or sleeping. Everyone would have an olympic medal if it was just running. Everyone would have a perfect sleep if it was just sleeping.

Well the one thing Aria Cullen could do was sleep and that's what she did as soon as she saw her bed.

A bit ironic considering she's part vampire.