Ever Since New York // H.S. - ON HOLD

CHAPTER 15 - KENDALL WHO?

A/N - Sooo...this is kind of a transition chapter. I'm not sure how I like it, but I think it gives a great insight to Evelyn's thoughts/feelings at the moment...

. . . 

It's been a few days since Ginny's accident. Harry had stayed the entire day with us at the hospital, which was extremely sweet. I kept telling him that he could go home so he could get some work done, but he said that it wasn't necessary. That he would much rather be with me. His phone kept going off, but he ignored it, at least for a while until he couldn't anymore. Those few hours feel like a blur because I was so worried about Ginny, but I distinctly remember him apologizing because he needed to step out to take a call, but would be back shortly. He followed that up with a soft peck to the top of my head and I was absolutely frozen.

He really did that. That was real life. The amount of care he had shown me, not just that day, but since I met him was immense. No one had ever displayed that type of behavior toward me. Jonah is the only exception, but he is like my saving grace. The fear from Peter's power over me constantly lingers. Any sort of physical touch, even if the intent is kind and adoring, brings unsettling panic over me. It is an instinctive reaction that is very hard to control. It's a reflex that isn't going anywhere anytime soon.

So, when he kissed me, even if it was a simple, automatic gesture for him, it sent my brain haywire for a moment. Peter never did anything like that toward me. Even at the beginning, when everything was fresh and filled with feelings of love, every kiss, every touch was all rushed. It was always on his terms. Any sort of romance was by his intent. Not once did I feel like I could just embrace the moment with him. Even though I tried so hard to live up to his standards, I was always worried about how he was going to criticize me after moments of intimacy.

I don't know how to react when Harry gives me gentle, chivalrous gestures. His intentions are pure, full of such affection and compassion. I have never felt that with a man before, so my brain doesn't know how to process it. My body only reacts in the way it was trained to when I was with Peter. All of this with Harry, whatever it is, is foreign territory.

I lounge on the couch with Ginny laid across my lap. Normally she naps in her bed, but I don't have the energy to bring her up there, so I stay put. Pulling the woven blanket closer to us, I turn the television off and find myself lost in my head as I stroke Ginny's cheek softly. From this angle, I see how much she resembles Peter. Overtime, I was able to differentiate her features similar to mine, and the one's similar to him.

Peter is not an unattractive person, he is actually the opposite. He just has an unattractive heart. So, I guess in the looks department, Ginny is in luck. I'm pretty average, at least that's how I would describe myself. There's nothing too extravagant about my physical features, but Peter, he would turn heads everywhere we would go. Ginny has his full lips and pointed nose. Her face is perfectly shaped and symmetric, almost angelic. And her eyes. Her eyes are nearly indescribable. They are this unique hazel, a combination of Peter's mocha brown with bright flecks of my blue-green hues.

She gets most of her personality from him, which ironically, is one of my favorite things about her. The way she is so full of life, so extroverted and charismatic. She has such a way with people and she is just shy of three years old. On the outside, Peter was so endearing and people flocked to him in masses, but behind closed doors, he was a sovereign ruler. The complete opposite of how the world viewed him.

My thoughts of Peter are broken when my eyes are met with Ginny's lip, which is still healing and slightly swollen. Once again, my mind goes back to that day. How anxious I was. How guilty and helpless I felt. They had given her medication to make her really sleepy, then numbed the entire bottom half of her face. When she woke up, she was terrified at the fact she couldn't talk or move her lips, but I tried my best to soothe her. The entire time, Harry was tailoring our every need, like a true gentleman. It is unbelievable the kindness that man has in his heart. Everyone needs someone like him.