we are flowers {cake au}

chapter 13; christmas will always suck (december 25)

i don't wanna talk
i'm sick of all this talking
a broken heart wrapped up in a box
there's tear drops in my stocking
i hate christmas parties; relient k

✿ luke ✿
luke wakes up with butterflies in his stomach because he may be grown and live on his own now, but he's still excited that it's christmas day.

calum is not in bed and luke is feeling relatively awkward about him because he was acting very odd last night.

luke gets up and looks for calum and even calls his name but he's just not there. he decides to go to his own home because either a.) calum left to go to a store or some thing or b.) he actually is in luke's house with breakfast or presents.

sure enough, he opens the door and calum and ashton are sitting at the table looking frustrated.

"hi, baby!" luke says, hoping maybe some excitement could make him feel better. "what's wrong?"

"i'm so sorry luke," calum says and then he's breaking down right then and there like he just regretfully killed him or some thing.

"baby, what's wrong?"

"please don't call me that, luke. i don't deserve it."

"what happened?" luke asks, feeling more and more concerned every time he asks.

ashton steps in. "don't hate calum. it was my fault," he says and pauses and luke's mind is reeling already. "last night, me and calum... calum and i, uh... we had sex."

luke instantly breaks and he doesn't even try to hide it. he just cries and cries and cries and he can't find it in himself to be embarrassed to be crying that hard.

he hears calum crying, too, and he can sense how awful ashton feels, too, but it doesn't make up for the fact that they fucked.

luke feels sad and then he feels an incredible rush of anger. "i can't fucking believe you!" he shouts. "why? why the fuck would you do that?"

"it was-" calum chokes up.

"never mind. never mind, i don't care. i hate you both." he knows he sounds like a six year old, but he feels like one too. once upon a time, the two most important people in his life sat him down and gave him the divorce talk, but this is so much worse. he's comparing it to the actual divorce talk his parents gave him, but this is so much worse. "merry fucking christmas, guys, and a happy fucking new year!"

"i'm sorry, luke!"

but luke can't even hear calum and ashton over the sounds in his head of him going ballistic.

he did exactly what he promised he wouldn't do. you know why? because you are absolute trash. you deserve to be cheated on.

"calum please tell me this is some cruel joke. i'd hate you so bad if it was but just tell me you're joking," luke whispers and this time he doesn't sound like tiny shards of glass in skin, he sounds like limbs being torn off of a body.

"it's not a joke, luke, i'm sorry."

"how could you do this? calum? ashton? do you even have an excuse?"

"i was going to blame it on the alcohol, but i'm just going to man up and take the blame. it was so quick, luke," calum says.

"oh, did you two rehearse this? you're both going to keep saying, 'oh, it was my fault,' back and forth so i don't know who to really blame and then i end up forgiving you both?"

luke paces around and feels like vomit. he feels like some thing gross that calum no longer wanted and now instead of being calum's, he's vomit.

"what does he have that you want and i can't give you?" he asks hysterically. "is he prettier? i can't put on some fucking makeup!" luke throws a picture frame off of the wall. "is he more muscular? i can work out! does he have better clothes? i can buy more!" luke rummages through his cabinet angrily for tea, because he's having a goddamn episode, and he needs to calm down and he knows it, but he almost doesn't want to because yelling at them is liberating. "is he skinnier? i can stop eating!"

luke knocks over every thing. he fills up a mug with tap water and does every thing in his power to keep himself from shattering the mug on the floor. he puts it in the microwave for a minute. luke picks up a box of tea that dropped and holds it in his hands and decides to throw it across the room.

ashton tries at him. "luke, please-"

"shut the fuck up, ashton," luke says, and it's the calmest his been since they told him. "thanks, both of you, for the best christmas present. a broken heart. it's greatly appreciated. definitely needed another."

calum looks at luke with every fiber of apology he has in his body and it still doesn't do a goddamn thing.

the microwave dings and luke takes his mug out and puts the tea bag in.

"can you stupid fucks please leave my house so i can be alone and cry," luke says.

they both leave wordlessly.

luke drinks his tea and then he takes his handful of prescribed medications. he goes to the closet where his mother kept the alcohol and he locked the door just in case calum or ashton came back. he went back to where he was when his mother died and drowns his blood in alcohol even then he keeps drinking until he has to run to the bathroom to throw up.

nobody cares. you didn't exist to them last night. you could drown yourself and nobody would notice you were gone.

for the first time in a long time, luke listens. he listens to what his head tells him. for the first time in a long time, there's no calum to be the bright side. luke stays in the bathroom to vomit more and also to add to the old collection of scars on his arm. he wishes calum and ashton were there to see him, and what they turned him into.

"what's the point?" luke wonders out loud. "why did i ever even try? why did i give myself to him that easily? i wish i was dead."

· 。* 。· 。* 。·

nope. nope. i am so upset.

so what do you think of angry luke
and apologetic calum & ashton
and do you think he should forgive them?

the song at the beginning is like my fave christmas song ever so give it a listen!

as always thanks for reading and especially thanks if you vote and/or comment 😄

-M <3