I got the feeling that I'm gonna keep you up all night

It was their last show before Christmas and people seem to be out of their mind, screaming at the top of their lungs, singing and moving their arms everywhere in the air. Everything was amazing. Except for the fact that Serge wasn’t talking to him, nor looking at him. No hugs, no kisses, no sweet nonsenses like usual. And he didn’t know why. They had a little fight because he was late and Serge get a bit angry, but it wasn’t something new to him, nor to the band. It was something they were used to. Beside, Serge wasn’t really the kind of guy who gets mad for something like that. Maybe he was just nervous for something, maybe he just wasn’t in the mood. But then again, at the end of the show he didn’t even look at him. He just headed towards their dressing room and after a few compliments for the successful night, they all headed to their hotel rooms.

Tom was looking forward to take a shower. He felt dirty. Way more than usual. Once in the room, he immediately took off his clothes and turned on the shower. He sighed as the warm water hit his skin. He started thinking about Serge again, about the fact that he never acts like that. It surely was just a phase or something, but it hurt. He couldn’t deny that. It hurt just like a stab in the back. He wasn’t used to that distance, that cold behavior.

He finished his shower and put some clothes on for the night. A pair of warm sweatpants and a black t-shirt. Suddenly, he felt very tired and going to bed at that moment was the best idea ever. He was just going to sit on the edge of the bed when someone knocked at the door. He jumped a little at the sound, he wasn’t expecting anyone after all. He sighed and headed to the door to see who the person was. His heart jump a bit as he saw Serge outside his door. He waited for a moment and opened it. They looked in each other’s eyes and Tom suddenly felt more relaxed. They entered the room and sat on Tom’s bed. The room was awkwardly silent and Serge was visibly nervous. But then Tom broke the slience, too impatient to understand why Serge was behaving like that. 

‘So, are you going to tell me why you avoided me all day or are we going to just sit here in silence looking at each other?’ Tom said. He made sure to sound firm, but he was just as nervous as Serge. No, not nervous. He was worried. 

‘Serge? Are you even listening to me?’ 

Serge nodded and nervously bit his bottom lip, but he didn’t answered. Suddenly Tom felt like he was talking to a 10 years old kid. He sighed and rubbed his tired eyes.

‘Listen, I’m tired and I really don’t want to spend the whole night like this. I’d be more than happy to listen to you if you wanna talk..’ He waited for a few seconds to see Serge’s reaction and then added.

‘Are you mad at me? Did I do something wrong or something?’ He tried.

Finally, Serge said something and broke that awful silence. 

‘Tom, you didn’t do anything. It’s just…It’s just me.’ He shook his head and sighed. ‘I honestly don’t even know what to say, but I swear I’m not mad at you.’ 

The situation was becoming ridiculous and Tom felt the need to slap him and made him talk, to shake him hard, but he stopped himself and kept talking instead. 

‘Ok, so why are you here Serge?’ He lay on the bed and closed his eyes. He had the feeling that it would take Serge a really long time to actually say something concrete, so better be comfy, he thought. He turned around so that he was facing Serge who was still sitting on the edge of the bed, biting his already short nails and looking down at him. 

‘You looked hurt.’ He simply said. As a matter of fact. 

Tom frowned. ‘ I looked hurt?’ He put his hand under his head so that Serge’s face was more focused. ‘Well, guess what, I was hurt. And you perfectly know why. But the thing I don’t know is why the hell you suddenly  decided not to talk to me during the whole day, making me feel bad and stupid at the same time. Now, would you explain that to me, please? Otherwise, that’s the door.’  He said while gesturing towards the door of his room. 

He felt the bed moving and realized that Serge was trying to lay down with him. It was a single bed so the space wasn’t really that much and they were suddenly really close. He tried to stop him, because he didn’t want to get distracted, he wanted an explanation, but as soon as Serge nose was pressed against the crock of his neck, Tom melted. He wasn’t able to speak anymore. Serge moved and he felt his lips trailing little kisses along Tom’s jawline. He pressed his forehead against Serge’s and closed his eyes. 

‘Serge, are you trying to avoid the subject?’ He whispered and smiled as he heard Serge chuckle. 

‘No.’ Serge mumbled against his neck. ‘I was just trying to get used to the fact the I won’t see you for a whole month. I was trying to get some distance between us because I know I will miss you so bad..’ He sighed and suddenly Tom felt relieved. ‘But of course it didn’t work. It was just stupid.’

Finally, Tom felt that he could breath again and burst out laughing. He took Serge’s chin and made him look at him in the eyes. 

‘You stupid twat.’ He sweetly kissed his cheek. ‘Don’t you dare do that to me again. I seriously thought you were mad at me and I didn’t know what to do.’ Serge smiled and hugged him tightly. 

‘I promise I won’t do that again. It’s pretty useless.’ 

‘Yes, it is.’ Tom tried to kissed his cheek again, but Serge opted for his mouth instead. Tom’s heart literally jumped and he was sure that Serge felt it. It actually wasn’t their first kiss. They kissed lots of time, but that was different. That wasn’t a show. That was intimate.  Just the two of them and no one else. It was sweet and delicate and he felt all the love in that one kiss and  suddenly he felt the urge to cry. When they parted, Tom didn’t even dare to ask. He knew that what they had wasn’t just a simple friendship. It was way more than that, but he was afraid about all the consequences and he didn’t want to talk and ruin everything, so he simply smiled and caressed Serge’s face. 

‘I will miss you, too, you dork.’  Serge grinned and hugged him tightly, squeezed him, and he couldn’t be more happy. They got comfy on the bed and they pulled the covers over them. 

‘Let’s not waste time.’ Serge whispered. ‘ I wanna talk all night. About everything. I just want to spend these last few hours with you.’ 

‘Soooo, ‘you’re gonna keep me up all night’?’ Serge grinned and punched him playfully on his shoulder. 

‘ ‘course I am.’  They smiled at each other and they kissed again.

A month wasn’t really that long after all, Tom thought as he snuggled against Serge.