Autumn Angel | JHS ✔

.forty-eight.

I stand in the center of the living room, proud of the work. Two weeks later, I had finally found an apartment to move into. It had been on the more pricey side, but the security and privacy it provided from the fans was worth it, and if I maintained out of scandals for the next few years, then my income from social media platforms would rise with more followers. 

Today, I had finally finished moving everything in, and I take a moment to breathe and finally relax after a full day of physical exertion. The place was a little larger, as it should be, considering the price of the apartment, and there was more than enough space for a single person. I grab my coat and shrug it on as I head out the door. 

After riding down the elevator and stepping out of the building, I debate heading back up to grab another layer. It hurts to breathe and my breaths appear in soft, visible puffs in front of me. I bury my hands into the pockets of my coat and shiver, trying to generate heat. It's no surprise that no one else is in sight; with the winter weather coming in strong, people would naturally stay sheltered in their heated homes. But still, it feels nice to go on a walk after having finished moving in. 

Walking along the paths, railings lined with frost, I can't help but grow a stronger appreciation for the place I've moved into. With each second longer I remain in this place, I feel more certain that this truly was the perfect place to move into. Not only were the interiors of the apartments luxurious, but the outside areas provided also showcased a beauty I knew I couldn't find anywhere else in Korea. 

Each breath becomes harder to inhale, my body still not adjusted to the cold, but each breath also brings sharper waves of clarity and clears my mind further. Steps are slow and short, and my head is rotating as it continues to take in everything and appreciate every small detail. The peace and stillness I'm currently in allows my mind to wander further, and before I know it, I'm brought back to the past. More specifically, the past with Hoseok. 

Hoseok. 

I had moved on. One of the first things I realized while finding myself was that I could never remember who I was if I was so focused on remembering someone else. Thoughts of him still popped in my head from time to time, and I would always care for him and wish him the best, but now, I was ready to move forward with my life, whether that future included Hoseok or not. Whatever happens happens. I would allow fate to work for this one. Currently, I was loving the position I was in, and I was content with living in the moment instead of being so caught up with moments I can't even control or couldn't change. 

Still, I can't help but wonder how he's holding up now, what he's doing, and if he was thinking of me. A replay of our relationship flashes through my mind and I smile as each memory pops up. Even with all the fights and trials we went through, I'm grateful for every experience I was able to go through with him. The chilly weather I'm forcing myself to endure brings up the memory of the amusement park, where both of us grew hopeful at the thought of enjoying the first snowfall of the season together. 

As if there was some sort of cue, white flakes start to drift down in front of me and I look up, laughing by myself as the snow falling thickens. Within minutes, couples run out hand in hand, wanting to enjoy the event together, and groups of friends tease each other as they walk out, not having a significant other to watch the sight with, but still wanting to enjoy the occasion with people they loved. For me, I just stand there, watching people loudly exclaiming and playing with the falling snow. I simply smile, taking a step back and removing myself from the world so I can appreciate it just a little more. 

Finally, with another small, private laugh, I continue down the pathway. It eventually leads to a hidden spot, tucked away from the rest of the apartments. Snow continues to fall and I remove a hand from my pocket to lay it out in front of me. It eagerly waits for the snow to pile on, but the small flakes melt the moment it touches the warm surface, and I'm only left with wet skin. I shove the hand back into the pocket and my feet start to move again. 

But then it stops. My smile drops. Every rational thought flies out of me and my brain shuts down. 

The man in front of me has stopped walking as well, and we just stare at each other. Time slows down until eventually, the fluffy white fragments hang still in the air, defying gravity and all systems of science. My heart has stopped breathing, every cell has stopped aging, and I am physically incapable of moving any muscles. The only thing that seems to remain constant even in this still world is the intensity of his gaze on mine. I count the seconds in my head, and with each moment passing only for me, I try harder and harder to move, breathe, do anything at all. 

And then finally, finally, my feet move, and time moves forward again. The snow falls, my heart beats, and my steps grow more certain with each one. Like a scene from some cliche drama, he and I walk towards each other slowly in the snow, stopping in the middle of the gap that once stood between us. 

And then there's some more staring. Neither of us are unsure who will say the first words, so both of us simply wait, drinking in the sight of the other. My eyes scan all over his face, torso, clothing. Everything about him feels so familiar and still so alien. 

"Autumn," he finally whispers. The words take form as a cloud in front of his lips, and they lift into the air as the atmosphere engulfs them. 

"Hoseok," I say slowly. 

"What are you doing here?" we ask at the same time. Both of us grin. 

"I moved here. Just today." 

Hoseok's eyes widen. "My members and I share an apartment here." 

I nod, and the movement is followed with more silence. I can't tell if it's awkward or comfortable, and I don't bother trying to figure out. Right now, my eyes and brain are still trying to comprehend that Jung Hoseok is standing in front of me. 

"Do you-" Hoseok clears his throat. "Do you want to go for a walk? It's been awhile." 

I smirk up at him. "Just a little while. Yeah, I'm okay with that." 

Hoseok follows me when I turn around and start walking. The snow continues to fall, the air remains frigid, but I'm reminded of how I felt during the same occasion with the same man two years ago; a string of warmth ties us together and grows stronger with each step.