The Last Letter

Ding dong! The happy sound of the church bell in our small town announces the union of two hearts. Finally, my lovely and beautiful Ana walking down the aisle while I'm watching her from the altar. I couldn't believe this day would come. My eyes are raining with tears as I watch her. My lovely and beautiful Ana, the love of my life walking down the aisle.

Ana was my childhood friend. We've known each other since we were kids. Even as a child I had always liked her. Her long silky hair, her white porcelain skin, her gummy smiles, her crisp laughter, her shyness – I loved every single fiber of her being. Her cheerfulness was like a magnet dragging me out from the pit of desperation I had always been in. She was my sunshine when all I could ever feel was the rain. She was my summer in the middle of my winter; my beautiful spring during my ugliest fall. She was my everything.

Ana was smart – I mean she's brilliant. She was this shy girl who timidly smiles. She was my total opposite. While she was the wallflower, I had always been the center of attention. Even as a kid I would naturally attract people. She would always be the girl in the corner with Ben, my handsome cousin, watching me as I interact with others.

When we were in middle school, her family transferred to another city. Her father was a corporate lawyer who had been hired by a known business mogul. Even with the distance, we were able to keep our friendship which soon blossomed into something more beautiful but tragic. We always kept each other updated through letters. Handwritten letters are always sweet and timeless.

While Ana's family had always been chaotic, my family was ideal. I had my loving parents, and two amazing sisters. I was attending a prestigious school, top of my class, and had a lot of friends. We lived in a big house. My father was earning a decent amount of money from being the town's engineer. People think I had a perfect life but mine was nothing special or ordinary. It had always been in between which for me had always been difficult. A lot of people did not understand how I felt. Whenever I try to talk all about these, I was always being shrugged off. People told me that I was just bored, and that I needed to keep myself busy. Worst, I was told I just needed to get laid. None of them knew how to empathize with me except for Ana and Ben. But Ben left not long ago after I confided with him. He said one day he'll come back and help me. Ben was older than I was. I sometimes thought I saw him lovingly watching Ana, but he always had 'that' look whenever he stared at me - pity, sadness, curious as if I was a fine specimen he was scrutinizing. Despite the distance Ben and Ana comforted me in so many different ways like no other through their letters.

Summer during my senior year in college, I woke up feeling so empty. I couldn't think of anything. I couldn't even cry. I stayed in my room for days. Days turned to weeks, and weeks turned to months. Everything around me just didn't make sense. My breathing didn't make sense. My life didn't make sense. I couldn't feel anything but the void inside me. I stayed in that state for quite some time. I lost count of the days. Gone was the Noel people knew. The happy-go-lucky, and adventure-seeker young man was gone in just a snap of a finger. I locked myself in my room trying to cope up with what's going on inside me.

My family and friends tried to convince me to come out, and to talk to them. But what was there to talk about when I also didn't know what was going on. I was falling in an unending pit of the unknown. I was scared. I was nervous. I was anxious. I felt like everything would fall apart for no apparent reason. It was overwhelming to feel everything all at once.

One afternoon I heard a soft knock on my door.