Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

The Back Story

Twinkle twinkle little star.....

It was all about me. Just me. I was the queen of everything. Everyone loved me. I mean, who wouldn't? I was the most popular girl in the whole school. Maybe even the whole city. It was up to me whether you were someone in this school or not.

How I wonder what you are.....

Even though it was always people wanting to be me, I didn't even know who I was. Who I was suppose to be. Sure, I loved ruling over the school, but something was missing. I couldn't figure out what it was then. I still am unsure now. Maybe it's the fact that my life is too perfect. That I dont know what it's like to live like a real person.

Up above the world so high.....

I thought something might have been wrong with me. But that couldn't be. I mean, I had it all. The fame, the popularity, the perfect little family, even the perfect boyfriend. My boyfriend, he told me that he thought that maybe having sex would help. That maybe that would help me feel complete. He said he loved me. I believed him. I let it think that it helped but in all it wasn't enough. I could never have enough. I started to try it with others. I felt so worthless the more I did. Eventually, my boyfriend found out. He was so mad. That look on his face, that pain and betrayed look, still haunts me to this day. My friend decided to try and help me forget. Forget about everything. She gave me a different type of addiction. She gave me drugs. So many different types. From snorting to smoking and needles. Anything to make me feel like I was flying. I thought I finally found what I was missing.

Like a diamond in the sky.....

I found it. My missing piece. Or so I thought. I felt so free, A false security. I use to be a diamond. The diamond. The queen and ruler of my school. Once the drugs came, things changed just as much as I did. I started hanging out with a different group. I wasn't so popular. I became what I made fun of so long ago. I became a no one. That's not even the worst part. My perfect life, my perfect family, my perfect boyfriend. They all started to leave. My parent's fought contesntly now. Not just with me but with each other. My siblings hate me because of it. My boyfriend realized he could do so much better and left just as fast as my fame and popularity.

Twinkle twinkle little star.....

I was no longer who i wanted to be. I wasn't getting that flying freeness from the drugs anymore. But I still can't stop. I tried and tried but I just can't. I don't want to be like this anymore. I want my old life back. I want a loving family. I want my friends who always supported me. I want to be the one the little kids looked up to. I feel so sick. I want to be normal again.

How I wonder what you are.....

I need help. I'm so scared. So sick. I want to be normal. Im done with this never ending fight. Somebody, please....save me from this monster I have become. I can't fight it any longer.