"You & I - The beginning of Something New"

Us? Not anymore

Him, no, no I'm imagining this, its all in my head, he's not here "No your not here" he starts making his way down, hands in his pocket, head held low, he turns and  he looks at me puzzled "What do you mean?" "This is all my imagination..no...no, this cant be" i start to get a panic attack, and shake he runs over trying not to fall on the ice, he gets to me and embraces me in his arm, his warmth is so soothing, but i still feel mad at him, "Zayn don't" i say quietly into his shirt, my voice muffled. I want to move away from him but my body doesn't respond, its like i need him, i have needed him since the day he left. i keep crying into his shirt "Shh, its alright I'm here now" he strokes my head, "I'm here now" i finally look at him, his eyes full of concern, i quickly wipe my eyes and wiggle myself out of his arms but he pulls me, i start to shake my head and hit his chest "No, no, no, no, no,no" "I'm here, its okay"  "Yeah, now." i get up and cross my arms, he lets out a sigh and stands too, his body towering over mine, "Uh, what um, what are you doing here?" i ask trying to catch my breath "Every one is worried sick, they had no idea where you where" I'm shocked, i hadn't realized what time it was, "And how did you know i was here?" I'm doing everything possible not to hug him, begging him to take me back, to kiss me, to make me his, and not to cry "Well after we called everyone we knew and you weren't there Ian " he manages to say "told us he heard your conversation on the phone, and i though, someone owes you a favor, and this was your favorite place to come before, it was the place where you felt at home and no one could find you, and this is where we had our first kiss, and the only person that i know that's owes you a favor is James" makes scents, all that is true, and he is the only one that knows about it "Hmm...i didn't think you remembered all that" "I do, i remember everything about you" "Oh Zayn, Stop, just stop. You saw I'm here, I'm fine, can you leave now? i really cant deal with this" i start to skate away "Why? because you slept with Ian?" i stop and stay frozen where I'm standing "H-how did yo-.....One that is none of your business, and two why would you care?" i say turning to him, he walk to me, his hands clenched into fists "I fucking care because i still love you, and it hurts me to know that, to know that you aren't mine anymore, and its all my fault" his voice cracks and his eyes get watery, "I never confirmed or denied it" "I know you, you cant lie" "Okay fine, so what if i did, its nothing to you, we are O-V-E-R, WE are not together anymore, you have no right to have an opinion on what i do with my life, who i date or like-" "Oh so you DO like him, that's why you had sex with him" "FINE. YES, we had sex Zayn, and it felt soooo good, and you don't want to know where he touched me, oh god!" i look at him straight in the eyes with a visible sarcastic smile,  "i felt alive again, he makes me feel like I'm worth something, because these last 5 months have been hell for me, i felt like shit, i went to the hospital because i had a nervous break down, and why? YOU. i felt like i was dying, i couldn't believe what you did to me, i never thought you had it in you, and as i thought about it more and more and more, playing it over and over in my head, everything we ever had just disappeared, and it all came down to one simple thing, you didn't love me enough to tell me that you were married and had a son....actually i don't even know if it was the lack of trust or love or- or i don't even know" I tear rolls down my cheek "I thought you loved me" i whisper, never taking my eyes of his, i see a tear on his cheek, his eyes are red, he walks to me "That's just it, you don't get it, i still freakin love you, i never stopped, and don't think for a second that this is just hard for you, its been so fucking hard for me too. You have no idea what has happened, i cant live without you, and it breaks my heart that i lost you, but i don't want to believe it" "Well do! You lost me Zyan, you lost me the day all this shit happened" he stands right in front of me, i feel hist hot breath in my face "Look at me in the eyes and tell me you don't love me anymore, that you are falling for him" i stay quiet and shake my head trying not to cry "TELL ME GOD DAMMIT" he grab's my arms and shakes me, I'm startled by his actions, by now tears are rolling down his cheeks, it hurts me so bad to see him like this "SAY IT PERRIE! I need to hear it from you, just please" he sinks to his knees and sobs "Please....I'm so sorry, i never meant to hurt you" he says in a soft whisper, i watch him, I've never seen him this vulnerable, i kneel in front of him and lift his head with my finger, my eyes are watery, i put my forehead on his and cup his face with my hands, i close my eyes and whisper "I still love you, but i have to do this for me, i cant let my life fall apart again" i give him a kiss, the most perfect kiss, but short i stop "I love you." i get up and leave, maybe forever?.

INTENSE!!! hope you  like it and YES I AM EVIL!!! tx for reading! x