In-between

chapter 18

The look on his face when he saw me was heartbreaking and maddening at the same time.
Millions of questions were going through my head I didn’t know where to start or how to start for that matter.
He looked at me like he was expecting me to punch him or yell at him and this tells me that he doesn’t know me at all.
“I’m so-“ I cut him off before he starts his half assed apology and force myself to be strong and not bawl my eyes out in front of him.
“Save it dad, I’m not here to have a heart to heart with you, let’s just go and Harry would drop you off home.” I simply offer and Harry looks up from his phone at the mention of his name.
“Home? I don’t have a home here.” He offers a piece of information about his current life after he dumped me and my mum.
“Well then, we’ll take you wherever it is you stayed before last night.” I tell him firmly before I started walking and I can hear Harry close behind me.
“I stayed at a girl’s house. She picked me up from the bar I was in, you know the girls these days, they’re into old people, except you, you have earned yourself a medal pumpkin.” He chuckles.
“Don’t call me that.” I spat beyond mad at my dad and his crude behavior; it slipped my mind that he has made an assumption about me and Harry.
“Why? You used to like it.” He furrows and I wrap my jacket around me when a sudden blow of wind hits my exposed skin.
“That was 9 years ago.”
“And you’ve grown to be a beautiful girl just like your mother, I just wish you don’t have her attitude, If she in fact has her mother’s gene then it’s a suicide mission boy.” He nudges Harry who fumbles to stand back right and completely ignores my father.
“Eh, where are my manners, I’m James Stone, Amber’s daddy.” He chuckles as he takes in my distaste at the term he used to describe himself.
“I know who you are James.” Harry’s cold voice was a slap to my dad’s ego because he wasn’t cowering beneath him like most people do. He has lost his touch or Harry really does hate him; either way it puts my father in shame.
“Oh, so you talk about me?” He turns his attention to me ignoring Harry’s attitude towards him.
“Not even once since you left, Harry knows you from before. When you were around, before you decided to just up and wanted out.” I spat my anger bubbling inside me.
We make our way to the car, Harry taking his keys out and unlocked it.
“Jeez, you’re never going to let that go are you? You said it yourself it’s been 9 years.” He cackles and runs his finger on the outside part of Harry’s black Range Rover.
“Woo, fancy car you have boy, Have you guys done it in here yet?” he whistles when he feels the shiny metal underneath his fingertips.
My eyes were that wide they could’ve snapped from their sockets and roll down on the wet ground when I heard my dad’s simple question.
But before I could say anything Harry opens the car door for me and answers my dad.
“Not yet.”
What is it with these people and not choosing a scenario to discuss about sex?
Is it just me or has it become normal talking about stuff like this with a father you just bailed out of prison after 9 years of not seeing each other?
Wait… whoa… hang on! Did he just say ‘not yet’?
Is he out of his mind? Why would he put that image in my dad’s already dirty head?
Fuck, I’m gonna have an earful.
“Well you better be fast and get on with it before another Fella takes her away.” My dad advices Harry at the department he’s way skilled at. This is going to be a long ride.
“I don’t think that’s going to happen anytime soon.” Harry replies and my dad chuckles.
“You’ve got her hooked then?” He asks and I’m starting to wonder if Harry comes here often and they catch up over a beer or something cause he seems like they know each other better than he has led me on because as far as I’m concerned you don’t talk about having sex with your fake girlfriend with her coward of a father who decided to leave when things got a little hard.
“I’m guessing that’s the case.”
“Can we talk about something else, like well I don’t know, WHY YOU SUDDENLY FELT LIKE YOU’VE HAD ENOUGH AND LEFT WITHOUT A WORD?” I screamed at my dad who was sat at the backseat of Harry’s car.
He looks flustered and taken aback by my harsh tone but that is the least of my concerns when I wait for my answer.
“Haven’t you talked about it with your mum?” He asks instead his voice raising a couple octaves higher.
“We don’t talk about you at all.”  “Well then why start now?” He smiles at his cheesy line and gives Harry a silent smile which he didn’t return at all.
“You’re an ass and I’m glad you left on your own.” I spitefully add and looked out the window when I hear him laugh.
“There you have it, that’s your answer pumpkin.”
“I said don’t call me that.” I mutter under my breath but he heard me.
“I’m guessing she’s as fierce under the sheets like she is now?” He turns his attention to Harry who was fiddling with the radio to listen to something.
Before he could answer I beat him to it and shake my head in amusement. “I don’t know if it’s funny or sad that all you want to know is how good I am in bed and not one single thing that have happened in the last decade.”
“Well I gotta say if you end up being good then that’s one thing you have taken from me and I could die happy.”
“Where do we drop you?” I ask stopping myself before I do something I regret and change the subject.
“I don’t know. Where’s the best stripper place around here?” He asks his interest peaking up a notch.
“Well I don’t know, there are several places, oh yeah… why don’t you try this place called hell, maybe you would like it.” I shot him a fake smile when I catch his reflection on the rear view mirror.
Harry takes his hand that was resting in the middle console and grabs mine that was lazily draped on my thigh and gave it a comforting squeeze.
“Is it any good?” My father asks still not catching up to the double meaning I threw in there and instead considers checking the place out.
“Harry, do you think my father would like the place?” I ask him who was staring mindlessly out his window.
“I mean it’s filled with people like him so I guess.” He gave me a lopsided smile before diverting his eyes to the road ahead.
“Okay, that’s racist, what do you mean people like me?” My clueless father still kept pondering and Harry sighs before he answers.
“Take a hint man, weren’t you religious at some point?” That hit a nerve and my dad bursts into fake laughter when he learned what I had meant from the start.
But both me and Harry called him out the bullshit and confronted him why he finds that funny at all.
“Because.” He starts like that alone should’ve explained it.
“But no seriously, where do you want to go because we have places to be.” Harry finally asks the old man who was leant on the leather seat comfortably like this is the first comfortable place he has rested his back on.
“I don’t know just take me to a motel or something and I’ll figure it out from there.” he nods and slumps back on the seat.
Harry pulls over on the parking lot of a fairly decent motel and killed the engine after driving for what seems like an hour.
“Here we are.” He turns around to look at my father who was examining Harry’s denim jacket like it’s the most fascinating thing he has ever seen.
“Oh, we’re here already?” He says softly I even turned around properly to see if he was okay.
“We’ve been driving for hours James.” Harry informs him as he looks at him admire his jacket weirdly.
“Yeah, well this is Goodbye then.” He slurs over his words like he could sleep any minute now. Or was he sulking? You never know with my dad.
“You haven’t changed at all pumpkin; you just became even prettier and you have got a sweet guy over here, he’s a keeper.” My dad smiles genuinely at me and for once I returned the smile. Who knows when I would be seeing him again maybe even never?
“And you look like you haven’t slept in a real bed and had a normal warm shower or ate a hot meal.” I tell him all the information I managed to collect since I saw him for the first time.
“What would you say if I tell you that you may be right?” He smiles weakly and mine fades.
“What have you been up to Dad?” I ask the real question that has been swimming afloat in my head since I saw the state he was in at the police station.
“Well you know; the usual.”
   “No I don’t know, and I don’t think I can help you if you don’t tell me.” I say slower and gentler than I’ve ever been with him.
“You do whatever it takes to keep floatin’ darling.” he shrugs and I can tell he doesn’t want to go into details about it.
“What happened dad?” I ask my voice breaking in the end.
“Shit happened baby and I can’t fix it nor can you.”
The way he just said that makes me think that he’s been through a lot and when dad doesn’t want to go into details then I know he’s in real trouble because he likes to talk more than he ever liked mum. Obviously.
“I could help, you never know.” I insist the thought of my dad ever being in trouble for things he can’t control plays with my mind like no other.
I know I gave out the impression that I didn’t give a damn about him but at the end of the day he’s my father and I hate to know that he is in dip shit and I didn’t do anything about it when I had the chance.
“You’re so naïve. Can you give me a million dollars over night?” He asked when he saw the determination written all over my face.
I frowned confused as to why he would ever want that big of an amount over night.
“No. Dad what the hell happened while you were away?” I couldn’t help but ask cause; damn that’s a lot of money and I would want to know if something has happened and this might be the last time I see him. Ever.
“If you don’t have the money, nothing you can do can actually help me. I messed up big time and if I don’t give that money back when the clock strikes 7 tonight I might as well be dead.” He answers so nonchalantly you would guess he was talking about the weather.  You’re talking about your life being in danger; it’s a life and a death situation dad.
Although I appreciate how he was handling it so well, I would say he’s a bit careless about it and if I didn’t know him better I would say he’s already gave up on life.
“I could figure something out, maybe I’ll convince mum to give me the money she’s been saving for college.” I tell my hopeless father who was still staring at Harry’s jacket.
I turn sideways to check on Harry who’s been quiet for a while and learned that he was on his phone with his air pod sticking out from his ear.
He has no idea how much I appreciate this small gestures he does without even knowing it and I wish most of the guy population who think with their dick were more like him.
“You’re fucking crazy if you think I’ll let you do that. You know your mother has worked her ass off for you to get here and she didn’t just save all those money to waste it on some useless drunk.” He argues and my heart aches at the term he used to describe himself.
“Don’t say that about yourself. Yeah, maybe you drink a little too much but as long as you’re happy nothing really matters and you know I would do anything in my power to save you from the ditch you threw yourself in.” I shrug like this is the most obvious thing in the world.
My father is the biggest douche bag in the entire world but my father none the less; I don’t care what he did if it means his life is on the line. I would save him no matter the cost. So if it means that I have to take all my tuition money then so be it.
“Don’t be stupid Amber, this is what’s gonna get you killed. You care for people who don’t deserve it at all. I don’t want you to do some stupid shit okay? I’m gonna be okay, I’ve been in a lot more worse situations than these.” He warns me as he crosses his hands in front of his chest.
What could possibly be worse than having a million dollars in debt over night and if you don’t have that you might end up dead?
“But I just got you back I don’t want to lose you just yet.” I pout like a 4 year old toddler but I don’t know what else to do. He was always a sucker for my pouty lips.
“It’s not gonna get you what you want this time around Amber, I’ve stayed away for a long time for that to lose it charms.” He shrugs when he didn’t even blink when I used my ‘magic lips.’
“Can you do me a favor instead?” he asked as he finally started grazing his fingers on the denim and his little beady eyes follow the movement.
“Sure anything.”
“I’m craving a hot meal.” He smiled when I rolled my eyes. Of course this is his last request when he knows we might not see each other ever again.
“What did I expect?” I shake my head as I turned in my seat and looked at Harry who jerked when he felt me move.
“Are you guys done?” He asks as he removes one of the ear buds.
“Guess we’re going to have some breakfast after all.” I shrug when harry looked at my father then at me with a surprised smirk plastered across his stupid face.