journal of reality

white noise

When I was younger, I didn't talk much because I didn't feel I had anything worth saying that the other person would care about. But I had so many things to say. My head was buzzing with new ideas, new projects, new goals. I wanted to share them because they made me feel passionate, but there was no one who really asked me what those ideas were. I saw that other people, like my friends, enjoyed talking a lot, so I thought maybe I should give it a try. I started sharing my thoughts and ideas. I would say something that I thought was neat, but usually someone else would start talking and any relevance I had would quickly drift away. So I noticed that I would need to start taking louder if I wanted to be heard. I started saying things louder, but still felt like no one wanted to hear what what I was saying. So I finally learned that to get people's attention you have to shout. So I started shouting anything that popped into my head. But soon, I started taking so much that no one cares about what I was saying again. My thoughts were not yet ripe but I kept trying to throw them into the world. I have to let my ideas and thoughts grow and mature before I publish them into the world to be mistreated and handled poorly by unappreciative minds. For now, all my ideas are coming across as white noise, another voice trying to be significant.