Dear Iwa-chan, (An IwaOi Oneshot)

dear iwa-chan,

The smell of rot fills the room. His eyes widen in horror as the limp body stays there, afloat. It stays still, skin pale white. In the corner of the room, an envelope is held down by a book, a journal. He recognizes it as Oikawa's. With tears blurring his vision, he crosses the room, steps fast, and breathing quick. When he arrives, he gasps quietly, ears ringing and heart beating erratically. He turns the envelope, notices a few letters are at the back and thinks it's a note from him before he reads the rest of the letter. He halts. Because at the words written in Oikawa's fancy cursive handwriting, Iwaizumi feels every fiber and nerve in his body freeze.

Dear Iwa-chan,

This is the story of how you killed me.

⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅⋅•⋅⋅⋅⋅•∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅⋅•⋅

Hurts. So much.

That is his first thought as he wakes up, body numb from laying down God knows how long. He lets his eyes stay closed, feeling the unfamiliar bed he was on. He smells alcohol and figures he's at the hospital. But why? And then he remembers.

Tooru. The envelope.

His eyes snap open and he sits up, his body moving in lightning speed. He whips his head and sees the small brunette at his side, sleeping with her head down. He sighs at the familiar head of the person. He blearily blinks his eyes, limbs aching, stomach rumbling, hair oily, and skin cold. He sees the envelope on the desk beside his bed and he turns to look at them. His heart hurts.

Dear Iwa-chan,

This is the story o-

He can't help turning away, stopping himself from reading. He turns to look at the envelope that seems to burn his eyes, and tears prickle at his eyes. He starts to reach over them, but he stops. His hand starts shaking and he realizes it's not just his hand. And he can't stop.

Because Oikawa Tooru killed himself because of Iwaizumi Hajime.

It makes his stomach churn and he suddenly has the urge to vomit even with an empty stomach. He turns back, feeling the need to read it. He needs to know why. What did he do to drive one of the people he cares about the most to kill themselves?

He takes the pile from his side and sits himself upright, exhaling loudly. He reads the first words, his chest tightening and teeth gritting as he continues.

Dear Iwa-chan,

When you're reading this, then I may be dead already. But that's alright! Just make sure you treat my sister well or else I'll be haunting you in your dreams forever. And I'm very serious, Iwa-chan! I heard you're getting married after college and I'm so happy for both of you. I really am.

That doesn't mean it wipes the tears and years away, but I really mean it. Even if it hurts me to death. I'm laughing now because that's pretty ironic considering how I just killed myself.

Remember how we first met, Iwa-chan? I remember that night, I just might have remembered that night for the rest of my days. I remember the dirt on the ground, digging on my nails and smudged on my face. I remember that dream-like moonlight like a scene from a movie I saw my mom watching. And I was really lonely at that time, crouching on the ground and playing with the dirt in the forest outside our houses. But Iwaizumi, I'll never forget the first time I saw your face. I had never been the same. Intense emerald eyes in a young buff frame. And when you said "Hi", did you know I forgot to breathe for a second? You went up to me and asked me why I was alone. I told you it's because I didn't know anyone and that I just moved from Tokyo. You said you were like me, that you had no friends yet too. I remember doubting you for a second because who wouldn't be friends with you? We said each other's names and then you suddenly declared yourself as my first friend in Miyagi. I was really happy that time. And then I would rant about aliens and you would rant about bugs and then you watched Godzilla for the first and you wouldn't shut up about it for months even after watching it hundreds of times. But I guess I understand since I make you watch a lot of alien documentaries too.