Midco Oneshots

Nightmares

A/N: This Oneshot will be shorter than the others.

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Midnight P.O.V.

It was one of those nights again. You could almost say that it happens every night. Since I gained my memories back of what father have done to me, I get nonstop nightmares of him torturing me. Erik told me that I sometimes scream and punch around me in my sleep which is why I sometimes have a raw voice and bruises at my hands and legs. Thankfully he allowed me to sleep beside him. I don't even wanna sleep anymore which is something big, I always wanted to sleep to find my peace and silence but that didn't work with my nightmares. This night wasn't any different, the nightmare was just as bad as every other nightmare I had about father. Every word, every little move, every single punch and whips hurt so much. It feels like I would go through them again. I always thought that he would love me like a son if I make him proud enough but it seems like that he just thought of me as a play toy. I'm somehow glad that I know the truth now but I really just want that the nightmares would stop. Is this my punishment for my sins?

I laid on the bed in my own pool of sweat and breathed heavily. I just woke up from a nightmare again. I can still feel his touches and hear his voice and when I close my eyes I see him bending over me like in my nightmare. I suddenly felt really sick and stood up as carefully as possible. I held my shaking hand over my mouth and went with weak legs to the bathroom as fast as I could. Luckily I managed to get to the toilet to throw up in there. My body shivered and I kept throwing up. I felt so dirty and weak and I hated both of these feelings. I wanted to take a shower so badly.

I called for Erik over and over in my thoughts until I heard him running to the bathroom and opened the door to see me at this state. He immediately sat down beside me and held my hair back while he rubbed my back for comfort. After some minutes I stopped coughing and throwing up. He sat me up and leaned my back to the wall. Erik flushed the toilet, stood up, went to the kitchen and got me a glass of water to wash out my mouth. I watched him while my body still shivered like crazy. He watched me for a couple of seconds while he gave me more water to drink which I did. I slowly calmed down a little bit at least enough to talk a little bit and to not almost throw the glass onto the ground. I looked at Erik and said quietly, "I want to take a shower." He looked into my red swollen eyes and asked softly, "Do you think, you could do this alone?" I shook my head no and hoped he would help me out and won't leave me alone sitting on the ground like the piece of crap I am. He nodded and took the glass out of my hand. "Then let's get you undressed. I will take off your shirt first, alright?" He asked. Erik somehow knew that I trust him enough to help me take a shower but at the same time he knew I needed to know what he wanted to do to me. He slowly took my shirt off while I held my arms up. I was somehow so drained of any energy inside me that I barely could do anything myself. I would guess that it was the side effect of the nightmare, shock and throwing up.  Erik didn't seem to care how bad I looked at the moment. He just went along and told me that he would now take my jogging trousers off which I tried to help him to pull it down but my hands were still shaking.

"Do you want me to take off your underwear too?" Erik asked and looked into my eyes again. I shook my head no. I really appreciated his help and it wouldn't be the first time that he helps me to take a shower but I really wasn't in the mood of him seeing me completely naked. "Alright, then let's get you into the shower. Firstly I will prepare the right temperature and then I will pick you up and put you down in the shower, okay?" He asked and explained what he wanted to do. I nodded. Just like he said he first stood up and took care of the right temperature and then he picked me up and sat me down under the shower. Erik explained every move he did and made every move just like he told me. I looked up to him while he pulled his sleeves up and turned the water on. The maroon haired man held the showerhead over my upper body but not over my head to wash my body first. I still needed a little time to calm down before I get water over my head. I don't know why I didn't help him wash me but I somehow got lost on his face. I couldn't stop staring at him. Erik's caring smile every time he looked up to me, his soft and careful touches and his calm voice made me feel safe. I felt his hand brushing softly over my chest and back to soap me up. He kept on washing me while I just stared at him. "Do I have something on my face?" Erik asked.
"No, but somehow your face calms me down," I explained.
He looked slightly surprised at me and then smiled. "That's good I guess." He put soap now on my arms and legs and I just let him do it.
"Erik?" I asked.
"Yeah?"
"Can I sleep in your bed tonight?" He looked at me and nodded.
"Of course, Macbeth."
Sometimes I'm asking myself if we really are only friends. Yes, there were times where we had situations like jerking each other off and so on. But we never really had sex and we didn't kiss each other. I don't even understand yet what love is since I was forbidden to feel emotions in the most times of my life. Furthermore, I don't think I would be able to be in a relationship now as long as I have these problems. Erik washed the soap off of me and started to wet my hair. He was careful that I didn't get water in my eyes and started to massage the shampoo and conditioner into my hair. I waited patiently until he was done and washed the bubbles off of my head. After he was done with that he stood up to get me a towel and fresh clothes. I didn't want to be more of a nuisance, that's why I tried to stand up. As soon as I stood my legs started to shake and made it hard for me to stand. Erik came back with fresh clothes and the towels for me. He helped me out of the shower and gave me the towels, I dried myself and took the clothes to put them on. He turned around when I pulled my now soaked boxer shorts down and put a fresh new on. He gave me one of his large shirts which were too big for me but at the same time comfortable. Erik somehow knew that I liked wearing his clothes since they got his smell on it, this habit was weird.

As I was done changing we went to his bedroom and laid down on his bed. Erik pulled the covers over us and placed my head on his chest. I listened to his heartbeat and closed my eyes. I just hoped that I wouldn't get another nightmare as soon as I fell asleep. Erik pulled one of my legs over his legs to make me more comfortable and hugged me. The older man kissed my head and told me good night.
"Erik," I said. His hummed as an answer. "Thank you for helping me." I murmured sleepily but I knew he would understand me. Erik brushed his hands through my hair softly. I slowly fell asleep in the warmth of his body.

This night I hadn't a nightmare again.

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Word count: 1413