Unrequited Love

Naranasan mo na bang magkunwaring okay lang kahit na parang sinasakal ka na ng sakit pagkatapos mong makita na nasa ibang piling na ang inakala mong makakasama mo hanggang huli?

Though you really wanted to shout his name and beg to choose you otherwise. But you only gag.

You prevent yourself from speaking or crying out your agony by reminding yourself that it will not change the fact that he didn't chose you after all. Never!

"Kasalanan mo naman kasi." Zeah said, when I'm busy watching my Man who's enjoying the moment of his life with my fucking best friend.

Fuck! They seemed so happy and suitable for each other.

While I'm here, a happy camper.

One who is happy and contented for seeing them exchanging their vows.

In front of me! Shit! It hurts!

Mairo called me then cupped my pitiful face. "Hindi mo man lang kasi linakasan yang loob mo na sabihin iyang nararamdaman mo."

Nag-uunahan ng bumadya ang mga luha ko and I quietly wiped it.

Zeah and Mairo is right. It's my fault. It was all my fault.

Because If I tell him what I really felt maybe this won't happen. But who knows diba?

If I tell him my fucking feelings, there's a possibility that he will reject me because after all, he only considered me as his bestfriend, buddy and or cryshoulder.

Tapos hindi lang naman rejection ang makukuha ko kundi pati galit na maaaring magmumula sa mga kaibigan namin.

So I ended up hiding my own grief everytime when I saw them together. Together!

Ganyan ako ka tanga. Nakaya pang ngumiti. Nakaya pang suportahan sila palagi. Nakaya pang pagtagpuin sila after they fought.

I'm on their side always.

And I never gave up until they fought again and me as a fool.

I Admonished them again and again to keep on fighting even though they're both tired at wala ng gustong lumaban.

"Tanggap ko naman." I said then faked a smile.

Hindi ko alam kung iyong ngiti lang ba ang pineke ko.

"Hindi na kasi dapat tayo pumunta pa dito, tingnan mo ang nangyayari sa'yo ngayon oh-" Zeah said tensely.

Mairo quickly trailed off. "Hayaan mo nalang Zey."

Minutes went so fast, and we're now witnessing Jay slowly leaning closer to Lexy and showered her a kiss.

Parang may pumiga sa puso ko lalo na nang narinig ko na inanunsyo na ni Father ang salitang 'You are now Husband and Wife'.

"Sana ako nalang." I secretly said but it was barely audible for Mairo and Zeah to be hear.

My eyes were teary again and I bit my lower lip to stop crying loud.

Ba't parang ang saket saket?!

Pilit kong pinupunasan ang mga luhang bumubuhos dahil hindi ko na nakikita ang nasa harapan ko.

Pero kahit anong pilit kong punasan ang mga ito ay ganoon rin ang pagbuhos ulit.

Fuck! Ang saket saket.

I grabbed my purse and quickly leave the wedding.

I'm currently thinking to impel. To drive forwardly hanggang saan man ako mapadpad but someone held my hand. It was Cali who is also our friend.