Longing for You - a PangWave fanfiction

ten

Dating Pang was a little different than simply going on dates with Pang. Before, they hardly texted around confirming locations and times for meet-ups. Now, Pang sent him pictures of everything. Dogs, people, bugs, you name it. Although Pang already graduated from university and has what he calls a "grown-up" job now, he attended seminars and writing workshops weekly. And Wave only knew this because Pang was constantly texting him in the middle of a lecture.

The BF: this guy has been talking for years when is he going to tell me my writing sucks

My Wave <3: your writing doesn't suck

The BF: how do you know??? >.<

My Wave <3: I read one of your magazine articles

The BF: y thooooo?????

My Wave <3: what, I can't support your work as a writer?

The BF: ye but don't TELL me you read my stuff you'll make me embarrassed!!!

My Wave <3: I read your stuff. It's good. Pay attention to the lecture

Pang eventually met Wave's grandmother too. Wave's grandmother knew that he was gay and, while she didn't exactly approve, she was too tired to really care. Pang tried to be friendly, but she gave one-word answers and basically ignored him. Wave told Pang that this was typical behavior and that she ignored Wave unless she needed him to do something for her.

Wave met Pang's younger sister when she visited universities in Bangkok. She was in her final year of high school, and Wave was unsure of how to act around her. Eventually, they bonded over making fun of Pang, much to Pang's dismay. The two boys didn't have time to make a trip to Chiang Mai to visit Pang's parents before Wave had to leave at the beginning of August.

That was something they talked about a lot. What were they going to do when Wave left for grad school? They wanted to stay in touch, but how realistic was a long-distance relationship?

The BF: what if I came with you

My Wave <3: you have a job here. I don't want you to have to quit and move with me across the world. I don't mind doing long-distance for a while

The BF: if my book gets published, I'll get royalties. you can study and I can write and we can be together

My Wave <3: WHEN your book gets published, we can think about it. But it would be irrational of you to drop everything and move with me in a month

The BF: ur right

My Wave <3: babe

The BF: until then, just wait for me okay?

My Wave <3: of course

The BF: you'll teach me English, right?

My Wave <3: no

It was a month before Wave had to move. He was looking forward to learning and maybe not so much teaching, but he didn't want to leave Pang. They had already been apart for years. Wave was already missing Pang.

One night, Wave was at Pang's apartment cuddling on his couch. He nuzzled his nose into his boyfriend's arm, holding on like he was never going to see him again. Pang's fingers were playing with his hair.

"It'll be hard. I don't want you to leave, but I know it'll be good for you. I'll miss you so much," Pang said. He did this sometimes: whispered sweet nothings to soothe Wave. Wave felt like he could cry for the first time in a very long time.

"I'll miss you too, you know," Wave admitted. "I know I don't say it enough, but I will. I feel like I miss you already."

"Hey, don't say that. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere." Pang wrapped his arms around Wave's waist and pulled him in close. He inhaled deeply. "We can do this. I'll visit you on holidays and you can visit me whenever you can. We can Skype and message each other and even send letters if you want."

Wave rolled his eyes but smiled nonetheless. "Letters are a little too cheesy for me. Skyping should be enough."

Pang sighed. "Right. Of course."

They sat in silence for a while. Wave wasn't good at telling people how he felt, but he figured he could make up for lack of verbal communication through his body language. Pang seemed to understand what he was trying to say when he climbed into Wave's lap and buried his head in Pang's neck. Please hold me.

"I want to have sex with you," Wave blurted out.

Pang's hands on his back stopped moving. He pulled back to look Wave in the eye with the most adorable dumbstruck expression on his face.

Wave felt shy when Pang looked at him, especially since they were so close. He continued speaking. "Not right now, but before I leave for sure. I don't... I'm not very experienced, but I feel like it would be okay if it was with you."

"Wave, are you sure? You know we don't have to."

"I'm sure." Wave kissed Pang on the forehead. "I want to, really."