She's Tired

Untitled Part 1

It has been at least thirty hours since she's gotten any sleep, and she's fucking exhausted. She also hasn't left her room in the time that she has been awake. Carol is so tired, but sleeping is scarier to deal with than being awake. The hallucinations, she can deal with, but the nightmares bring terrors, and the last thing she wants to see is those she loves dying again because of her.

Waking up in a cold sweat with her heart racing is such a shitty feeling, and it seems that every single time she tries to get some rest, she only gets an hour or two before the terrors begin.

Maybe this is her punishment for being a monster. Being plagued by things she doesn't want to see. Or maybe her punishment is extreme sleep deprivation due to her being such an awful person. Regardless, it is working, and she's very quickly reaching her breaking point. 

She knows she should probably sleep tonight, but as the sun sets and the moon is visible, her ghosts come out to haunt her, showing her her sins, reminding her that she deserves this. So Carol gets out of her bed and walks to her bathroom. She opens up the medicine cabinet above the sink, seeing her tired eyes in the reflection of the mirror.

Her pills are almost gone. Partly because Daryl asked her to give them to him, and he did end up taking half the bottle from her, and partly because she's been eating them like they're candy for the past week. She's upset that he took them, because those are what keeps her away from nightmares, and he doesn't realize what he did to her by taking them.

With a sigh, Carol pops two of the last three pills into her mouth and swallows them. As she puts the lid back on the bottle, tears try to flood her vision, but she's able to fight them off as she goes back to her bed. 

"Go to sleep, bitch."

Carol turns her head and is faced with a ghost she hasn't seen in a long time. So many years have passed that she could almost forget what he looked like.

"Go away," Carol murmurs, already frustrated.

"I'm not going nowhere. Go to sleep so I can beat your ass in your dreams." Ed grinned.

"This isn't your house. Go away," Carol tiredly says.

"This isn't your house either. It belongs to your shitty redneck friend. You don't deserve shit," Ed sneers.

The tears come back to Carol's eyes.

"He's not shitty. And I know I don't deserve shit. You made sure I would remember that forever," Carol mumbles. Ed laughs at her and steps closer to her bed.

"I'll hit you," He taunts. Carol shakes her head.

"You can't. I know you're not real. You can't hurt me."

"If I can't hurt you, then why the fuck are you crying? You're a monster, you ugly worthless cunt," He taunts. Tears start to spill over her lashes, and she backs herself up on her bed, wanting to get away from her dead husband.

"Please just go," Carol says softly. Ed steps closer to her. Carol hears a knock at the door, but she ignores it as Ed starts talking again.

"Kill yourself. Nobody loves you. Lock your door and use your gun and kill yourself so you can come and live with me again. You need to die, Carol!" Ed yells at her.

"Go away!" Carol cries. There's another knock at her door, this time followed by a voice.

"I brought you dinner. Can I come in?" Daryl's voice calls softly outside the door.

"He can hurt you. I'll watch him beat you up until you're gasping for air and begging him to just finish you," Ed taunts, moving to stand right in front of her, and he leans over her from where she's sitting on her bed.