Barely floating

Feeling The Water (Part II)

What Should you do when no matter what you do things keep on getting worse And Every Sunrise seems to be a curse?

Inayat Sheikh's POV: "Inu! Inayat! It's already 5 am and you still haven't gotten to bed?" Aunt Layla continued to yell as she approached my room with occasionally cursing her faith along with asking Allah which sin was He punishing her for by burdening her with me. I quickly hid the notebooks under the pillow as the stomping her angry feet continues to grow louder and louder until bang! The door to my room flew open

and she finds me sitting on the floor lost in prayer, she looks at me for a few seconds until finally rolls her eyes and leaves the room with the words, "You have to wake up early tomorrow don't forget" and shuns the door closed. I let out a breathe of relief when I hear her steps fading away, thanks Allah for saving me this time as it was a very close call, okay so now don't think that my life is some sort of sad Cinderella sob story as I promise you it's not, I mean Aunt Layla, she doesn't hate me to be quite fair, she gets along with me as much you can get along with someone whose parents are going through a messy divorce, is considered to be a bad omen, is a little too clever for one's liking and is also a girl and she is as progressive as one can be when they are married off at 17 even though their family was well to do and could have afforded at least a complete education for their daughter so that's on that.

But I am not complaining, I don't have the right to complain as long as I am not married off and parceled to Saudi Arabia or worse sent back to my parents I have nothing to complain about, I just need to hold on a few more years and once I have graduated from High school, I can get myself scholarship or job and finally leave.

PS: Inner Aesthetic (You get the drill right?😅)

Regina Holland's POV: "Angie! Come out cupcake! See your mashed potatoes are crying for you honey!" I chirped in a baby voice but it seems this method won't work today, so I harden my voice just a bit and say, "Miss Angela Holland! I will count to five and if you don't come out" I can hear her giggling, I smile to myself and continue,"One..Two..Three" and as I was just about to say four when her little feet make their way out from under the table and she looks at me with her signature, 'You can't scold me I am too cute' puppy eyed look. I pick her up in my arms and start to walk towards the kitchen to clean her face, "So no Potato?" she ask, I move my head signalling a no and her face brightens up like a star, I say, "Yes no potato but one strawberry cupcake" and at this it's almost as if she flew out of my arms to to the dining table and all of a sudden a whole cake is already in her stomach and her face needs to be cleaned again, I guess that's my life now and I love it so much. "You are the best Mommy in the whole world." she says

As I pat Angie's back while she falls asleep, I don't know what gets to me but I just cant stop my goddamn tears, What I was just even a year ago? Even the slightest memory of that Regina is enough to haunt me in my dreams, I used to spent my time fooling around, getting drunk until I couldn't even open my eyes, hooking up with random guys and I guess being a slut nonetheless and my relationship with my mother? don't even ask about it. I was everything horrible one teenager could possible be until Angela, my little sunshine came into my life and now all of a sudden my whole world is revolving around her, she is my ray of hope, she has saved me from the darkness I had imposed on myself and I have to protect her light at any cost as she is the reason I am alive.

I know the world believes that people like me never change, but I have changed, I am not the whore. the slut, the bitch everyone in my high school thinks I am, I might have been that person but I am no longer that Regina Holland, I know I am not as I have to get better for Angie, for us and I would prove to everyone that people can change. I have to.

Daren Water's POV: As I fall over my bed and let my weight sink at the bottom and I can't help but wish I could sink in at the bottom as well, to stop feeling, feeling anything at all as empathy is not a beautiful thing in any shape or form, Empathy is a curse and I am doomed

The sounds of the shouting are still piercing through my ears so I guess my parents haven't stopped arguing yet, so it's definitely Saturday and tomorrow it's supposed to be our Family outing as this is recurring incident in the Water's Household, for how long you ask? well as long as I have walked on this planet. I am top notch honestly, I try to bury my head under the pillow but that doesn't seem to solve my problem and the fact that I know what can solve my problem is making me sick to the stomach.

I hate myself for even thinking about it but at the same time I can't seem to stop thinking about it either, my solution is a whole another problem and I think too much maybe that's also a problem, I need to stop thinking, I need to stop feeling, I need to stop. I know how my mom feels when dad tries to ignore her and I know how dad feels when mom is rude to him for no reason, I know how much both of them hurt each other but I also know how much they love each other well. I wish I knew nothing, I try to help everyone, everyone except myself and at the end of the day I am drowning but not with my weight rather with the weight I have put on myself, the weight of emotions.

I pretend to be this strong person who just likes to keep to himself but from within I am craving for someone to hold me, I am hoping for someone to finally say, "hey Daren are you okay?" and I would fall in their arms and cry for hours but I guess that's just a dream for me as in reality no one cares enough to ask nor am I brave enough to say and each day goes by I can feel something in me slowly fading away, I can feel the desire of seeing the next day fading away and I still can't stop.