Tormented by Choice

Kabanata 1

I was left without a single word

I wanted to know why? Why did he leave me?

I want to have a valid explanation from him

But when he gets back here, I know he changed

He changed a lot.

Nung iniwan niya ako ay ni isang luha ay hindi pumatak saking mga mata cause I am so angry at him.

I feel so numb and pain wasn't even there to replace the anger I felt for him.

I was crazy thinking if maybe there are mistake I did or that I was just not enough for him to stay...

Hindi ko hinayaang mawasak ako sa lalaking nangiwan sakin at binitawan ang lahat ng pangako niya. Hindi ko hinayaan ang sarili kong maging miserable dahil lang ay iniwan niya ako. Work was the only thing I can subside the feelings a have to him.

Naging successful ako and I am now an owner of a clothing company.

Half of me thank him for leaving me because I became an independent person kasi nung kame pa ay masyado akong sanay na nasa tabi ko siya, sanay na parati siyang nandiyan upang protektahan at alagain ako, and when he leave? I don't know what to do but I don't want to be weak so I tried my very best to not give up just because I'm heart broken.

For the 4 years of not seeing him, I have move on

I think?

6 years kameng magkasintahan at pinangakuan niya ako ng kasal so hindi ko pwedeng kalimutan lang ang lahat cause I know for sure that I'm still hoping for him... to get back to me

Nagkaroon ako ng boyfriend and he's not a rebound dahil I really like him and nawalan na rin ako ng pag-asa sa ilang taon na hindi siya nagpakita sakin. Even a dot wasn't sent to my email or other social media accounts. He deactivated all his social media accounts so that I can't reach him... tss what a foolish boy.

But unexpected things really happen in life huh?

He came back.

He came back the day of my boyfriend's marriage proposal to me. Nasa likuran siya ni Luke and I was so shock and can't even think right. Bakit siya nandito? Ngayong maayos na ako at may iba na. I stared at him for almost 10 minutes, I am confused and frustrated of thinking na nandito siya sa harap ko and mukhang onay lang sa kanya ang lahat, na para bang babalik siya at sisiraan ang meron ako ngayon. Fuck him! He smiled at me and the looks in his face is saying that he didn't regret anything, that he's happy for me and for Luke.

"Babe? Will you marry me?" tanong ulit ni Luke na nakangiti na may halong kaba.

I don't know what to answer.

Yes, I love Luke but my mind is actually not in a good condition right now. Ayaw kong magpadalos-dalos ngunit ayaw ko rin naming masaktan si Luke.

He's been so good to me noon pa lamang magkaibigan kame and he hep me move on and that's the reason na napalapit at napamahal ako sakanya. He sacrificed a lot for me and a thought of him leaving me is so painful.

I don't want to live in this world if he's not the one for me.

"Of course, Babe" maligaya kong sagot.

He put the ring on my finger and then he hug me with happiness and contentment.

I'm happy for the both of us too, na nakalimutan kong nandito si Miguel, na sa apat na taong walang paramdam ay babalik siya at parang lahat nang yun ay ganun ganun na lang.