Faking Me - l.h. AU

Chapter Seven

Short filler chapter beware

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My room’s ceiling was white, just white. I never did anything with it. I wasn’t even crafty enough or owned any posters at all; I was fine with a white ceiling.

Except now.

Right now I hated the fact that I didn’t have anything to look at while the time dragged and moved slowly. It was only a quarter to seven and I’ve been awake for more than an hour by now, just tossing and turning until I gave up and decided to look at the ceiling.

There wasn’t much to look at.

I just- Was I- Does this even make sense? A girl who hasn’t had a friend for at least two years suddenly gets lunch and rides from her new chemistry partner? Like it is a regular thing?

I’m going crazy.

I came from a dark place, where I suppressed anxiety and loneliness with alcohol, parties, unknown bodies and, well, drugs. Those were shit times that took me two years to leave behind completely, even if I had to see people close to me getting hurt until I finally realized I had to change. I was a total wreck.

I had to get away from those “friends”. I couldn’t get close to anyone else, it was just too hard. Even if Luke is nothing like that people –and I hoped he never got even close to that scene– I couldn’t stop thinking I could just slip into my old life and just fuck up everything I had done until now.

The anxiety was just too much, forcing me to finally get up from bed –even if it was still early– and head to my bathroom.

I stood there looking at my reflection in my mirror with stickers in its corners. My hair was up in a messy bun and my face showed the sleepless hours. I only sighed in frustration before washing my face and starting to get ready for the day.

----------------------- (how am I even gonna do this)

I was rolling the cigarette between my fingers, trying to calm my nerve with its presence without lighting it up. I really didn’t want Luke asking if I smelled like smoke this early in the morning.

 “I’ve told you already you can’t smoke in here.”

“I already know, Esteban, god damn,” I said, stopping and turning to him. I was pacing around the lobby, somewhat nervous. Steve reminding me every five minutes how I couldn’t smoke didn’t help at all, but it was too cold to be waiting outside.

“Are you having boy problems?” The smirk in his face made me want to punch him in the throat, Steve was having a field day with my uneasiness. He even cooed: “Is litwel Zelda in luuuv?”

“I’ll just smoke outside, then,” I said, leaning to take my bag from the floor, wanting more to leave than actually lighting a cigarette, until he started to talk again.

“Ok, ok, I’m sorry,” He apologized, raising his hands in a surrender gesture. “But you know I don’t approve that nasty thing. How often have you been doing it lately?”

I had to look away before answering. “Not much, really,” I dismissed, being vague was my way of surviving lately. I knew I’ve being abusing it this last month. When normally a whole pack lasted me for at least two month, I was in the second one already.

“I don’t buy your bs,” He said, squinting. I got caught. “Give me your pack.”

“What? No! It isn’t like I got addicted or anything, I just had a bit of a rough patch this month,” Was I trying to convince my apartment complex’s the landlord/guard/receptionist to not take away my pack of cigarettes? Yeah, that was a thing. “C’mon, Steve.”

“Zelda. Gimme,” He said with a tone that didn’t allow any discussion about the matter and his palm extended to me.

“Now I get why you don’t have a wife,” I mumbled followed by some cuss words, meanwhile I rummaged around my bag for my package of cigarettes. I handed them to Steve when I found them in the bottom of it, now frustrated.

I was out of the door in record time when Luke pulled up outside, mostly to get away from Steve and his constant staring and questions. Not because I wanted to see Luke, so shut up, Steve.

“Hi there, Luke” I said, getting in the passenger seat of his car and locking the seatbelt, trying to sound cool and not like I only had four hours of sleep.

“Waddup, Zelda?” He smiled at me (maybe I pulled it off) while setting the car on drive and heading to school.

I could only answer with a smile and a nod. Okay, this was kind of awkward.

After a couple of minutes with silence Luke turned the radio up, playing some rock song I’ve heard before but not enough time to let me place it.

Why was this so awkward? We’ve talk before, it was normal but now it felt like a wall was between us, making those ten minutes to school silent and a bit uncomfortable. Shit.

We got off the car together, walking side by side into the school building.

“So… I’ll see you in chemistry?” Luke broke the silence, shifting his weight form one foot to another. I guessed he felt the vibes too.

“Sure, see ya.” I said, fixing my bag hanging from my shoulder, more heavy than usual. We only smiled again at each other without eye contact before parting our ways.

Is this day going to get any worse?

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This is like so shitty i want to punch myself but its ok, next weeks update will be better. Scouts honor

On the media side theres a pic of Margaret Qualley (you may recognize her from The Leftover ((she so bae in that omg))), who i picture for Z-Z-Z-Zelda the bae, but you can picture whomever you want (i'm looking at you Dani), but it may trow you off when i describe her physically speaking

Anyywaayyy, another sunday on time, you should love me

I love #Zuke idk

C'ya next sunday i hope i pray i beg.

- Allie