Save Me From Myself

Chapter 4

I'm in the car with Andy, and as we're driving, I see birds and people and whatnot going by. Very peaceful. It's a nice day out, nothing too particular about it though. Suddenly Andy hits the brakes and all I see is glass. And blood. Lots of blood. The minute I see Andy and his bloodied face I scream.

And then I wake up. I get up and out of bed to get some water, and I see Andy come near my door. "Elena? Are you ok?" "Yeah, yeah. Just a bad dream." "You wanna talk about it?" "No, not right now." There's a pause and Andy says "What are you out of bed for?" "Just wanted to get some water." So I do just that.

When I come upstairs I ask "Why were you near my door?" "Heard you scream." "Oh um...sorry." "It's ok." Another awkward pause. "Are you sure you're ok?" "Yeah." "You sure you don't want me to stay with you?" I think a bit. "Well...I don't see why not." So Andy lies in bed with me, calmly singing me to sleep, with a smile on my face.
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When I wake up, I feel a lot better, and when I check the time I see its 10:00, so I just play on my phone for a bit. I'm guessing Andy is downstairs, as he isn't in the bed like I expected. Andy calls me down for breakfast. "Elena! Breakfast!" "I'm coming."

As I come downstairs, I see that Andy is making, or microwaving waffles. "Good morning." Andy says. "Morning." "So I was going to make you go back to school Monday but you got expelled?" I almost choke on my waffle when he mentions it. "Well uh...Fucking Christ I just got up! I don't need to hear this!" "I'm not angry or nothing, I just wanna know what you did that got you expelled in the first place." I'll tell you later." Andy raises an eyebrow, but drops it after that.

So I pretty much enjoy my day the usual way. By playing on my phone, and listening to music. Around the evening Andy asks "Hey, you wanna go somewhere?" "Do I have to get dressed?" "No." "Ok then." So we get in the car and get moving.

As Andy's driving, I can't help but get a bit nervous considering my dream last night. Andy doesn't seem to notice this though. Soon we get wherever it is Andy was driving to, and it appears to be a very grassy area. "Where did you find this?" "When you drive far enough you can find anything." I walk around a bit and sit down.

"So why did you bring me here?" Andy looks down and he says "Well, I wanted to talk to you actually, I just thought this would be a better place to do it." "About?" "About you. Yknow, what happened before the foster homes and shit. We don't have to or anything, I would just like to know a bit more about you is all." "Um...ok."

I stare out at the sky, wondering how to start. "It's kinda a long story." "I have plenty of time." I can see he really wants to know, no point in keeping it from him. So I sigh and start my story.

"I was born early, and that caused a lot of problems, such as awful vision, but thankfully that was the only thing wrong with me. My grandmother mostly took care of me, until she left to take care of my great grandmother. My mom wasn't bad or anything, and while my sister was a bitch, what can you expect from siblings?" I give Andy a few minutes to soak it all in.

"My life was constantly plagued by social humiliation. People treated me like crap all because I just so happened to be the shy kid. I didn't like talking with others, and people didn't help. They were all so mean to me. Even some teachers would yell at me. It's not like I wouldn't try, but whenever I did I would just embarrass myself. So, I just stopped talking to others. I didn't go mute or anything, I just wasn't as talkative as I used to be, mostly staying in my room listening to my music not giving a shit." I have to pause considering what I'm going to say next.

"One day, my mom, sister and grandma were in the car. My mom just picked my grandmother up from her house. Appearently a tire blew out from some broken bottle on the ground and it started spinning. It crashed in some old house and no one survived. It was bad. I was sent to live with my dad for a few weeks, but I couldn't stand it. My dad wasn't the most loving person in the world I'll say. He loved me but he didn't show it very well. So I ran off, taking all my things with me. Eventually the cops found me, and after some questioning they gave me back to the old man. I'm guessing he knew why I ran off, and he didn't seem to care either. So one night while he was at work I ran off again, and this time when the cops found me they put me in foster care. It was t bad, better than my regular home, but I still missed having a family. Then I heard of you guys and it helped. I've been in the place since I was 14, and your music helped me through the 2 years of hell. I went to school, and it was awful. The kids would mess with me constantly. Spit wads, being tripped down the stairs, one bitch even smacked me across the face, getting called names, the usual. At the orphanage they just ignored me, which I guess is better than being bullied but it still hurt. I honestly thought no one cared about me anymore. I just went through life as well as I could, not really caring." I pause, because I know what I'm gonna say next.

"You just let those kids bully you like that?" I hear Andy say. "I tried to fight back but I always lost, and the teachers didn't care." "Some people..." I hear him mutter under his breath.

Soon I continue. "Then the day before we met, this one bitch tripped me down the stairs again. She called me a cutter freak or some shit like that, and then...I don't know what happened." Andy raises an eyebrow and I say "I told her that if she ever touched me again I would disconnect her throat from her head...that's why I got expelled because I wouldn't talk to the guidance counselor. Actually I told her I would stab it right through her throat until her head was disconnected from it."

Andy has a very shocked look on his face, and I try to defend myself from whatever he might say. "It's not like I could really do anything. I'm a weakling! And maybe if the fucking bitch left me alone I wouldn't have to say things like that! And the strange thing is it felt fucking wonderful to finally stand up for myself. Cruel as I may have sounded." Andy stays silent and it begins to worry me.

"I didn't want to say it goddamit! I don't WANT to hurt anyone! I don't WANT to kill people or see anyone suffer or anything like that but...I just hate people. I. Hate. People. With every fiber of my being. And maybe I wouldn't if people just left me the fuck alone! That's just it! People always BOTHER me! Not a in your face way but a breathing down your back kind of way. And I know how fucking awful that sounds, that I would actually stab someone and I know you probably think I'm some monster but don't worry trust me you aren't the only one who's thought that before." I don't even notice how fast I'm going until I stop to breathe.

Andy looks at me and says "Elena, are you ok?" I don't know why, but I just start sobbing. "I just don't wanna be bothered! I don't wanna deal with people! I don't wanna do anything! I don't wanna grow up! I don't wanna worry about some future I don't have! I don't wanna deal with anything! I don't want to care, I JUST WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE, IS THAT TOO MUCH TO FUCKING ASK FOR?!?" I practically scream. "FUCK, that's all I've EVER wanted! But do they CARE? NOOOO! Instead I have to put up with people and their BULLSHIT! "Do this Elena! Do that Elena! Shut up Elena! What's wrong with you Elena? You're weird Elena! You're a bitch Elena! WHY CAN'T I JUST BE LEFT THE FUCK ALONE? WHAT DID I EVEN DO!?

I'm so pissed off I practically start screaming in pure rage and start punching a nearby tree. Thankfully I don't hurt my hand or anything. Soon I just curl my legs up to my chest and sob. Andy I've noticed has been very quiet this whole time, and he seems to stay that way, until he moves closer to give me a hug. "There there, just let it out. It'll be ok. Ssh." For some reason I find it comforting.

Soon Andy drives back to the house and puts me to bed, stuffed animal and all. "You want some water?" "Hmm." I barely say, as my throat seems to have died from my screens of pure angst and anger. "There ya go. Feel better?" "Yeah." I say, my voice a bit less scratchy. "Andy..." I say quietly. "Hmm?" "Can you sleep with me?" "Sure sweetie, goodnight." He says as he turns off my light. Andy then begins to sing softly, lulling me to sleep. And as I begin to fall asleep, I can't help but smile, knowing that my life is bound to be a whole lot better from now on.