Pressure (One-Chap Scene #5)

Pressure

azeeal's note:

Hi! This is a short scene based on a rant by unknown. This is the fifth installment in the One-Chap Scenes books.

DISCLAIMER

Pressure is unedited. This book may have typographical and grammatical errors. Editing will be done soon.

Happy Reading!

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"I can't take it anymore, ang daming nagpepressure sakin para tumaas ang grades ko and I honestly want to kill myself." I said to the recorder, my voice wobbly as I tried to hold back the tears forming. Everything was too much. "The thought of going to school makes me sick to the stomach and I hope to God that they change the system."

School. School, one of the roots of my problems. The amount of work, the pressure and how they treat us. This may not apply to all schools but why can't they teach us useful stuff. How to pay taxes, bills, how to fix this, that, basically how to survive in the real world. I know, there are some stuff that are helpful in future jobs but not everyone can get those jobs or even use them in real life. And all that nonsense they teach us, the amount of it is sickening. Will they ask me to find the area of a stupid circle at the bills center? Where the damned appendix is?

And their treatment. Smart kids get praised and uplifted in school while the struggling ones get insulted and looked over. They don't help them understand better and always blame their behavior. There are so many mental disorders/issues that can affect their attention and their ability to grasp certain aspects and yet, they don't understand them and make the learning environment more comfortable for them learn better.

"I have so many homeworks and quizzes piled up that I honestly do not know what to do anymore. Just hearing the word 'class' makes me anxious and I feel my heart throbbing every second." I breathed out as my vision clouded while I was devoured by my thoughts. "Getting an education should not be this stressful but at the same time, I don't want my parents to worry about me." I always feel like that. Like I'm such a burden and I don't want to put that on other's shoulders. 

"I fucking feel like about to burst and cry so much right now." I chuckled bitterly, tightening my grip on my phone as I exhaled hastily."This is not healthy, this is disgusting." I said swiftly as I felt my stomach twisting. My mental health is crumbling and I don't know what to do about it. 

"The workload, the pressure is overwhelming." I set my phone down and hugged myself, feeling as if the wall are caving in on me. "I actually thought that when we were getting suspended, I could finally have some fucking time to myself, but of course that's not the case." I exclaimed. When quarantine started, I actually thought I could finally rest. Rest my eyes, my mind, my self. But no, I was foolish to think that. Look at me right now, I am a mess. The amount of work practically doubled. I wanted to rest, to fix this shit of a person I am, no, I needed it. 

"They're giving us a shit ton of work to do as if we don't have actual lives, friends and hobbies. The constant cycle of waking up and starting class makes me gag. I'm not doing anything except follow the fucking rules like I'm some kind of nobody that can't think for herself. 'Dapat i-enjoy mo lang ang kabataan mo. Wala kang responsibilities kaya madami kang pwedeng gawin. Buti nga kayo ang dami niyong gadgets para sa school and mas madali curriculum nagyon'." I ranted, my anger flowing out as I tried to control my breathing.

"Tword niyo, 'di niyo alam na nahihirapan din kami, pero tinatago namin dahil ayaw naming masaktan kayo." I wailed angrily, eyeing my phone that's recording everything I'm saying right now. "Kapag sinasabi niya na walakaming ginagawa at humihilata lang kami buong araw, 'di niyo alam kung gano kasakit 'yon. May sari-sarili din kaming problema but you still don't take that into consideration.

I pointed and vented at my phone, thinking of it as the people I hate with a passion. "Kulang nalang lumuhod kami sa inyo para lamang tumigil na 'to. Hindi lang kayo nahihirapan, dahil kami din." I let it out. The wall surrounding everything I'm keeping inside crumbled down while I ranted. I hate everything. I hate everyone. I hate people. I hate myself.

~

☾A