MAMA【✔】

Chapter 9

Even before they rushed me into immediate surgery, Katlyn felt numb. Before they rushed anesthesia through her blood stream, Katlyn felt numb. Before she was able to comprehend the situation she was in, she still felt numb.

Katlyn sighed as she thought about the last time she felt this numb. Was is the last time she smoked? No. When she found out she was pregnant in high school? No. It was when she found out she had lost her baby. Now she was losing him forever. She wished that life had been on her side when she had her miscarriage. She had regrets about thinking the baby was going to be stressful and the biggest regret of her life. Now that he was gone forever, she realized her biggest regrets were about her passed baby. She never used the term baby when she was pregnant. She always had referred to him as "The Fetus". She didn't name him until her miscarriage. She hated that she couldn't bring into the world a big bundle of joy. She was supposed to be his Mama.

"Katlyn?" She heard a male voice. She looked up to see her idol. Jung Hoseok and his child Hobi. Seeing the infant made her mood switch instantly, from numb to elated. She held her arms out for the small child. Hoseok, reluctantly handed over his baby.

When the child's skin hit hers, a smile spread across her face. Tears were brought to her eyes. Hobi was perfect. He wasn't a replacement, he was just a baby that got to live. She comes to him and wrapped him under her hospital blanket, hold him close to her heartbeat. She knew she messed up her job, which was never a thing in the first place until she met Hoseok. She had a feeling in her heart that she let Hoseok down with her problems. She was a burden in her mind.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled to Hoseok while staring at baby Hobi.

"Don't be sorry. It was a medical emergency, it just happened sooner than what we hoped for," Hoseok tried to assure her.

She shook her head in disagreement," No. It wasn't my physical health. Hoseok, I understand if you're going to fire me. I deserve it." Negative thoughts were racing in Katlyn's mind. She hated everything about herself. She thought she was greedy and selfish.

"Don't believe that, if that's what you're thinking," Hoseok told her. This broke her down. Her feelings flooded her senses in one big tidal wave, and she sat there, on the hospital bed, completely broken. It wasn't tiny ripples, no it was like a tsunami crashed her down to drown in her sorrows.  She felt like falling into a deep pit of despair. She didn't realize that tears were streaming down her cheeks, until she heard Hobi whine a little from the wet droplets falling on his face. She cursed in her mind and quickly wiped away the tears on their faces.

She quickly noticed that Hoseok was smiling. Why would he smile when someone was crying? She didn't know anything about Hoseok, but at the moment she added a the trait sadistic to a small list.

"You're really a big ball of sunshine at all times, huh?" She sniffled.

"I'm smiling because of how selfless and strong you are, traits that a real woman has. You remind me of my late fiance," Hoseok continued to grin.

What? A late fiance? Everything hit her harder than a titanium club. Hobi's mother never left intentionally, she passed away. This made her think about how her doctor had told her about his giving birth to a child and passing along. Was there a connection?

"What was her name?" Katlyn asked Hoseok.

"Her name was Joy, she bled to death after giving birth to Hobi, the nurses told me they had never seen someone so happy while dying," he explained, his tone melancholic. His smile seemed to disappear into a slight frown with his eyes blazing with an emotion she knew ever too well. It was the look her mother always gave her, pure love. It soon dissipated into something sickening. The look she always saw in the mirror when she was pregnant. Something unpleasant, confusion on why it had to happen.

"I'm sorry for your loss, but I think she'd want you to raise Hobi to the best of your ability, I believe she trusted you to do that. Don't think of Hobi as a reminder of her, he's his own person," Katlyn advised.

"I think I needed that," his eyes cleared up and he smiled again.

Katlyn wasn't sure if it was the drugs, but she blurted out something stupid."You're smile light up my world."

Hoseok's face grew red. "Thanks, I'll make sure to smile more."

"My turn to blush," she said a grin growing on her face, a rare sight for everyone, but she knew she could in front of Hoseok.

"You're smile brightens the whole world,"Hoseok muttered. He looked down and started at baby Hobi in her arms. It was a perfect picture. A masterpeice.

[Published October 2nd]