"Hey, Saihara-chan~" Kokichi texted in the groupchat of which consisted of (obviously) Shuichi, Kaito, Maki and the rest of the gang.
It was currently Shuichi's 22nd birthday. But him being the awkward, introverted ex-detective, didn't really want to have a big celebration for his birthday. He didn't want to go out or do anything remotely different other than stay inside and watch some hentai.
"Hm. What is it, Kokichi?" The edgy emo harem bastard responded with.
"Ouma leave him aloneeeeeeee- Shuichi said he didnt wanna do anything, respect his wishes dipshit" Kaito wrote in the GC.
Jeez what a simp, shut the fuck up dyslexic bitchass motherfucker.
The rat man huffed, even though it wasn't his birthday he still wanted to do something. But no one wanted to hang out with him. What a fucking loser.
"Alright alrighttttttt~ I wasn't planning on peer pressuring him or anything.. Stop bullying me :((("
"I was just gonna offer a humble request of accompanying me to a strip club."
He wrote that last message as a joke, unaware that anyone would actually accept.
"Oh what? I thought you were gonna be lame again lmfao. I'll come with you, when d'ya wanna go?"
It was- Rantaro? That sent the message? It wasn't really that uncharacteristic of him to say honestly. Since it was always clear from the start he was a hoe. However, after he said yes, many others did too.
Soon, everyone except Ryoma, Gonta, Korekiyo and Angie wanted to go right away for shits and giggles.
"Okay but who's driving???" Texted Kaede.
"Idk man, i lost my drivers licence after hitting some old man with my car so i cant." Pinged Maki.
But luckily, Monokuma, who no one even realized was in the groupchat from the start, came to the rescue.
"Bruhh it's all goods, i got a mf. BIGASS. White van i take y'all in. I'll pick up you guys up soon, just get ready owo."
Kokichi giggled excitedly to himself and switched his phone off to go get ready.
He looked through his closet and sighed. "Jeez, i really don't have anything that makes me look cool..."
He picked out a shirt that had 'piss baby' on it and tilted his head. "This would make me cute, right? Wait what the fuck-" Ouma dropped the shirt and peered closer inside the closet, only to see that he still had the chucky cheese employer costume he forgot to return when he worked there. He smiled to himself. Knowing that this would be the fit that'd get everyones attention and probably earn him a pp succ, FOR FREE.
17 minutes passed and Kokichi was waiting near his front door.
A white van soon enough parked in front of his house and a figure that he could only guess was monokuma, waved at him.
But as he got closer he realized that he didn't recognize the man at all. He had a pedo mustache and was balding, his clothes were UG and he looked mad sus. "Hey lil boy, wanna hop in for a night-time drive?" The stranger asked with a scratchy tone. The rat man shook his head and flipped the bird at the man. "Nah, fuck off bitch. This supreme leader dont hangout with dummies like you. Find some actual child to stalk. Im literally 21."
The old man let out an audible 'tch' and drove off soon afterwards, clearly disappointed. But hopefully he took Kokichies advice.
Another 5 minutes passed and this time Monokuma actually came around in his white van. Ouma smiled cheekily and hoped in the back, laughing aggressively at everyone else that was there to greet him.
Tenko looked out the back window and announced that they were finally approaching the strip club, which was named 'The Lonely Island.'
The van stopped and everyone got out and rushed inside to aggresively dance to the awful music and shower the dancers there with monopoly money since all of them were fucking broke and worked at stupid dummy part time, food service, jobs.
It was all great and fun, ignoring the part where they found out that Gonta didn't wanna go there because he actually worked there in a barry the bee benson stripsuit.
But when a particular dancer that entered the stage caught Ouma's eye. Which was apparently very difficult to do.
The dancer was wearing a seductive, grape suit, that was in the most dreamy and beautiful shade of purple. You could also hear many others murmur in hushed voices to their friends in pure awe. It was such a breathtaking sight and Kokichi almost nutted immediately.
Their stage name was 'Grape Juice', hence the grape costume. And in Kocoohies opinion, that just made everything about this mysterious stranger 100 times more hotter. They even danced to crazy frog!!!
You can bet that Ouma threw everything that was in his wallet at them, even the epic attack helicopter. And when their dance was done he ran to wherever strippers go after they're done idk im literally 3 years old.
He found Grape Juice and intensely walked over to them. Smiling a Hisoka Smile.
"Sir? Why the fuck u here." Their tone made Kokichi conclude that, despite both their height and appearance 'they' were actually a 'he'. Probably.
"To succ pp" He winked.
Grape Juice blushed.
Lmfao what a fucking bottom.
Kokichi naed naed and consentually banged a can of panta in front of Grape Juice.
The end.
