Close To Home

chap. 1: Getting Out

(picture is Willow)

"Shake it off, shake it off...."

Ugh I can't stand this Taylor Swift shit anymore. I reach for the car radio and turn it completely off, which leaves me alone with my thoughts. And that's a scary place to be.

I have been driving for at least 12 hours now, and my fingers feel like they have mad an imprint on the steering wheel. As I sit alone in my pick up truck, my thoughts go back to earlier last night.

(flashback to last night)

I hear the door slam as I lay awake in my bed. Great. She's home. I force myself out of my bed and into the kitchen to lay out some Motrin and some water, because without a doubt my mother has come home drunk. Again. I'm actually pretty used to it, ever since she kicked dad out, she comes home like this all the time. And speak of the devil, here she comes wobbling into the kitchen, wine glass in hand. I do a once over on her disheveled appearence. Black pumps. Short red dress. Wine glass in hand. Nothing I haven't seen before.

She pushes me out of the way and makes her way to the water, eyeing it suspiciously. "What is this? If it isn't vodka I don't want it." She slurs and takes a sip from the wine glass in her hand. "It's water remember? You do know you need to drink it." I say as a pick up the glass and move it to her. She looks at me with anger and throws the glass in the other room, but I can still hear it break. "Mom you need to drink that so you aren't hung over, again." I say as calmly as I can. Which seems to just enrage her even more.

"I didn't ask for your help did I? I didn't ask for you to be here, or to be my daughter did I? I didn't ask for any of this!" She screams at me. I keep a blank look on my face as we start to have this argument for the third time this week. She takes a sip of her wine before continuing.

"Willow, I can't have you here anymore! I don't know how to help you anymore! I can't deal with all off your medication bills and the therapy sessions, and for Christ sake just, you!" My mother screamed at me while we stood in the kitchen. "Willow you need to leave, I can't deal with you," she slurs, throwing her wine glass at the wall and shattering it to nothing but a pile of sparkling glass shards.

"Maybe if you weren't so drunk all the time, and you hadn't pushed yourself away from dad, I wouldn't be pushing people away all the fucking time!" I yelled at her moving my hands around in her face to add to the gesture. That's when I felt a stinging pain in my back. I let out an ear splitting shriek as my mother broke one of our kitchen chairs on my back. I fell down to the floor writhing pain.

"Maybe if you weren't such an ass hole, and had a drink with me once, you wouldn't be like that, you bitch" she seethed through her alcohol smelling mouth.

I slowly made my way off the floor and started wobbling to the stairs to pack my things. That's the fourth time that's happened in two weeks. I had to get out, I couldn't stay here knowing what would happen to me If I did. She comes home like this almost every single night, but half off those times she leaves me alone. The other half she beats the living shit out of me. She can't control herself. And I can't do this anymore. As I packed the last of my things, I grabbed all the money I'd saved in my little starfish piggy bank, and shoved it deep into my bag. I couldn't stand to look at it for more than a few seconds without remembering dad, which would only make me cry.

As I sped down the stairs, I took one last look at my old home. The colors on the walls have dulled since dad left, and most of out picture frames are broken, and on the floor laying in shattered glass. The lights are dull and fading into light and dark, since my mom spends most of her money on clubbing and booze, she doesn't care about it being dark, since she's always hung over.

"Willlllooowwww!!" I hear my mother slur/scream my name from what I think is the dining room. That's all I needed to hear to give me the extra boost to leave. I was out of the house and into my truck so fast, I didn't process what I was doing until I was halfway down the driveway. I'm doing it. I'm actually getting out of that hellhole. I feel the build up in my eyes become heavier and stronger until I can't hold it in any more. As I let silent tears fall down my face, I'm driving onto the ramp that leads to the high way. I just kept letting the tears drop as I drove.

(end of flashback)

I could still feel the memory burning in my mind. I have been driving all night, and the sun was starting to rise and with every passing hour i still didn't know where was going. I knew only that I had just entered North Carolina, or so said the road sign a couple of miles back. I decided for both me and the other drivers up this early, I should stop at a gas station to see where I could get a map and figure out my next move.

I pull into a speedway gas station and get out of my truck. It's pretty warm outside, considering I'm wearing blue jeans, and my Remones tee, and converse. I walk in, buy some coffee and a map and head back to my truck. As I sit in my truck, I sip my coffee, set it down and open up the map.

Apparently, as I inspected the map, I'm in Warsaw. That really helps, laughing at the sarcasm in my mind. Wait, that does help! I think to myself as I sigh in relief at how close I am to Grammys house.

The last time I saw Grammy was a month or so ago when she came up for my birthday. I had to hide the alcohol so my mom could stay sober for a few hours while she was visiting. Grammy always new about her daughters drinking problem, and she new it was affecting me, even though I kept the abuse and hitting to myself. So Grammy being her amazing self that she is, came up and met me at our local diner to have a birthday meal and give me my present, even though I told her not to. And since she knew that mom couldn't hold on to her sober self for that much longer, she got me the present that she knew some day I would need.

A plane ticket to North Carolina.

I guess now I knew where I was headed. And was Grammy going to be surprised to see me. Only not in a plane, but in my truck. And unannounced. Me only being 17 probably won't settle so good with her either. Oops?

I plug the address into my phone, and start making my way back onto the highway. Havelock here I come.

•••

Hey there lovelies! This is my first attempt at writing a book, as part of my New Years resolution! I really hope you guys like it and I try to update every few days or so.

Please comment, vote, and share my story!

Thanks so much!

Spoilers: What will Grammy say when Willow arrives?