best friend

chapter 1

gordie's pov (HEY VEE ILY KISS KISS)

it was a thursday afternoon in summer, right before break. chris and i were in the old treehouse hanging out. i was leaned up against the wall, knees up with a notebook on my lap and pen in my hand. chris was opposite me with a cigarette in his left hand and old comic in the other. 

we hadn't been talking much lately. chris seemed to be more closed off like he was hiding something. the only sounds to be heard were the occasional scratching of my pen on paper and chris turning the pages of his comic. the air was hot with an occasional breeze.

as i was writing down an idea in my notebook i felt eyes on me. he had been staring lately, i couldn't figure out why though. i sigh and look up at chris. 'have i got shit on my face?' i smiled.

'no, just making sure you're still human gordo.' chris replied. he went back to his comic book.

i looked back down to my notebook, mind completely blank. i look up and stare at chris. he's tall and he's muscular. blond and tan. his cheek was bruised from his father's most recent 'episode'. i frowned. i hated that chris was always getting hurt. it made me so angry and sad. no one deserves to be beat, especially not chris. he's the best person i know. he is a good person. he helps me with anything and is always there when things get rough.

 when my older brother denny died, he was there. when things got real shitty at home, he was there. he's the kindest person i know. he's the only one who cares about me. 

i look down at my hands, curling them into weak fists and look out the makeshift window. everything had been a blur lately. college classes were getting harder and harder, parents ignoring me more than they ever have, chris being more distant had taken a toll on me as well. i missed his usual presence. i sighed again, looking over to chris. he looked over to me with a concerned face.

'you all good gordie?' he asked softly.

'yeah, just weird i guess.' i replied. 'what about you man? you seem, i don't know, different? more distant.' i asked quietly, noticing a change in his expression.

'uh, yeah. eyeball and my dad have been giving me shit lately and some other things but i'm good.' he replied. 

we spent the rest of the afternoon in silence. it was semi awkward but nothing terrible. i believe chris when he told me about eyeball and his dad but i don't think that was everything bothering him. we continued to glance at each other and every time we caught each other, a little spell of nerves erupted. my mind was swirled with confusion and just a cloud of grey. i wasn't happy but i wasn't sad. just sort of in the middle. i said goodbye to chris at the corner we normally split up at and walked up the small hill to my house.

once i got inside, it was silent. the car wasn't in the driveway and there was no noise.

'mom? dad?' i called out. no response.

i walked into the kitchen and grabbed a coca cola before heading upstairs to my room. it was only 6pm. my parents must be out for dinner or left town for a few days. they had been doing that a lot lately. they barely acknowledged my existence. i'm surprised they remember to pay my school fees and buy clothes for me. i might as well be a houseplant or decorative vase. i bet if i was they'd pay more attention to me. i sat down at my desk and got my notebook and pencils out of my bag. the sun was setting and making my bedroom a golden paradise of light. i spent the evening at my desk, writing down everything that was getting to me. my parents, chris, feelings and school.

why was chris so distant? he wasn't mad right? i haven't done anything to piss him off. maybe it really was just school and his family. but then again, if it was just that, he would be like this all the time. we've been friends for years, he tells me everything. he told me when his dad hit me for the first time. he told me the first time he smoked. the first time he kissed a girl. chris and i know everything about each other. or, at least we used to. i will admit, i've been hiding some things from him. but they're not that important. i'm just worried about him. i don't want to lose the only person who cares about me. we're a set, not separate items. i just can't lose him. not now, not ever.