♣Intimate Colleagues♣ 【Dazushi One-shots】

♠ вℓσσмιηg♠ II

Slightly out of character (i think) and very mediocre writing

Part 2 
Was not aware of how long this would be sorry

Prompt; Hanahaki disease
Trigger Warning; slight depictions of gore/blood and slight angst

Atsushi finds himself waking up in a cold sweat, his heart racing and his throat throbbing with petals and small flowers clawing their way up to his throat, the feeling of tissues filling his lungs almost unbearable. He couldn't discern whether or not it was tears or sweat that was dripping down his face, it felt as though he was drowning in his own bed.

Ever since he realized of his condition weeks prior, he had begun to have vivid dreams of sorts and would end up waking up needing to cough up petals and, not so recently, small delicate flowers. He knew he was going to end up choking on them eventually if he didn't get the surgery, but... he didn't want to lose these feelings. Yes, it was killing him and it was unbearably painful, but never in his life had he ever thought that one day he'd feel something like this. 

Atsushi has tried to keep his... sickness to himself, and for the most part, he has. If anyone had noticed, they didn't say anything. The only other person who knew was Kyouka, and that's because both lived in the same dormitory, she was bound to find out eventually. The only thing he didn't tell her though was who caused this, however, knowing how observant she is, she most likely knows already. Anytime he and Dazai even had the smallest of interactions, he could see Kyouka giving a knowing glance towards the two which would cause the tiger to become even more skittish knowing she knew. 

But then again, he guesses that's even more reason that he kind of sees her as a little sister, and how she sees him as her older brother. Although the two aren't related by blood, after Atsushi took her in, they began to act more like siblings than anything else. And Atsushi was alright with that and vise versa. It almost scared him how close they had become considering she probably knew him better than himself. 

Atsushi rushed to the bathroom his legs giving out from underneath him, coughing out his lungs into the trashcan. Atsushi has done anything he could think of to reduce the pain and flowers, from distracting himself with work, finding remedies online to even limiting his interactions, and avoiding his mentor. This, however, is easier said than done, as his mentor doesn't care for his work and decides to annoy others around the office, mostly Atsushi or Kunikida. 

Despite what he thought, avoiding his mentor only made the smallest of glances or conversations cause him tremendous amounts of pain and, on most occasions, blood. He knows it's getting worse, he knows it'll kill him, but what more can he do? He can't just get Dazai to like him and it's not like he could have the surgery, for one, it's expensive and can possibly do more than bad due to the vague discussions he found, and for two.... just personal reasons in general.

He can't breathe, he can't stop without choking in on himself and it hurts. It hurts him so much and it's breaking him. He avoids going places with the older in fear of seeing him attempt asking yet another woman to a 'double-suicide' or... whatever he called it. Why does love hurt so much, and why does it happen that he falls in love with him...?

After Atsushi coughs up the remaining flowers after what felt like an eternity, he begins to wipe away any remaining blood that may have plastered itself on his face. He looks solemnly into the mirror and winces as he gazes at the dark circles around his bloodshot eyes growing darker and darker each day. He can't seem to get a night's rest without waking up in a hysterical coughing fit.