Absquatulate - Tsukishita Kaoru's Memorabilia Fanfiction

Absquatulate

Absquatulate (n.) : To leave without saying goodbye.

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"At least, let me give you a proper last 'goodbye' ...."

"I want to tell you that I love you ...."

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You know, I never really like goodbyes.

It's painful, and they leave scars, the one that's engraved in your mind, that will stay with you for the rest of your life.

Along with memories, they can't be erased, as they're bound onto your soul. You can't heal them, even as time passes, because they'll come back to haunt you from time to time.

As I grew up, I learned that a goodbye is not always a bad thing. Sometimes, they're needed, so you can move on and start a new chapter of your life. The separation may feel heavy, but you'll gradually get used to it.

Sad, but it's just a part of life.

I know, yet I still don't like them.

Call me a crybaby or anything, but I can't let go of things that I love so easily. Even after days, weeks, or years. There are stuff that I don't want to leave behind.

Loving too much is not good, yes, but if those are the things that brighten your lonely days, sudden goodbye is more painful than what you can imagine.

Like, really, the pain is sometimes too much.

It feels like your entire world was destroyed in a matter of split second. The shock numbs you, deafen your ears, blinds your vision, and shuts your mouth. They rip your heart out, yet your tears are still flowing.

You want to shout it all out, yet no voice is able to escape your throat- Only sobs and empty screams.

It's sickening, but I always endure it all. I don't react that much to a separation, as I know I'm still able to reach out to them.

But, you, why don't you let me to say goodbye for the last time?

You just left, leaving all of us behind.
Silently, without any words nor traces.

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I love you, Kaoru.

You're such a sweetheart, with that cute smile and pretty face, framed with long pink hair and beautiful dark, gleamy eyes.

When you talk about the things that you enjoy, it shows how happy you are and it's such a precious moment to see. Your iconic laugh is adorable, and your unique voice is a bliss to listen to.

Your entire existence is a gift, and I feel so much joy just by knowing you.
But, I forgot, that you could just walk away and never come back.
I was naive, thinking that these happy moments won't fade that easily. But god, I'm wrong.