A bright day, just like any other. The soft breeze which seems to be coming like the waves of the blue-never ending oceans. How far can his eyes see? Not much. Just the leaves dancing from time to time, and the birds flying at the distance. What do people do on days like this one? Go on vacations? Have a long family reunion or have a nice lunch with the smiling and warm faces of the known ones? He didn't understand. All he knew for sure, is that, nothing matters.
Back in the days, he used to take out his GI Joe action figures or some Funskool Beyblades and play. Or maybe stand on his toes to reach his drawing copy and take out some worn out pastels and start drawing. Although he didn't know how to use them, he was fine with it. Never satisifed, but just fine.
He was just another ordinary kid with a skinny physique and soft hair with fringes covering his forehead entirely. Somehow surviving the school hours from 8:45-2:15 he came back and resistingly had his lunch. Watched Beyblade, Pokémon and Dragon Ball Z after that. About studies? He had to. Just like any other kid. Yes ofcourse he was also good in studies like any other kids you see today. I believe, everyone is good in studies at that age. Take my words for it. I wonder how some couldn't get good marks at that time and now are living their lives to the fullest. Was getting good marks just another useless obstacle we had to face?
Can people predict someone's future? If not, how can astrologers do that? Do you believe in them? If you do, then they are not humans or just some frauds. Someone predicted that this kid will become a great doctor, and some told that he will become a great human one day. Now i realise, that was either stupid or too vague and diplomatic. That kid left Science studies many years ago now and is smoking a cigarette feeling nothing but the end. Now, who is a great human?
Don't say it's Gandhi or Hitler. They are just some humans who got the spotlight. Lucky them.
Back here in the present time, his face is the same. He smiles, even laughs. He definitely cracks stupid jokes, trust me he has many friends. Or just some people he knows?
Now let me ask you a question. What is pain? Is it something we're scared off or something which is different than the usual good feeling we get? Is bleeding pain? Or hemorrhage or gastric attacks? Or some haunting past stories?
All he knows is that pain is something we don't anticipate.
Now they say time heal wounds. Do they? And if time heals it, what are the scars we see? Don't we speak about or thing about the past pain when we see the scars?
He thinks time does nothing. Time is not meant to do that. When people can't do something, they just rely on time just like God. He feels sorry for those who hopes so much. Not because hoping is bad, but he sees: the people are not anticipating about the negativity they are about to face.
Back in those days he thought he was the only one with family dramas and problems. Later on he was relieved to know that he was not the only one. Then he learnt about something different. Something so different than others that he waited and waited to compare and share it with others till he finally realised, he was the only one.
Every human goes to sufferings, irrespective of caste, creed or any other useless identification. But do they feel the same? Everyone is different right?
Well that was complicated for him.
Try sympathizing every person you know. Try to say that they are suffering and just speak random sad things and they will all accept that they are in depression. But try to speak something which is true but harsh, they will say "all people are not same." That's how cruel this humanity is.
Sharing and understanding. Well how far do we share? The moments which made us unhappy and some funny moments or just our dreams and hopes but rarely the part where we were guilty. Even when we speak that part, we tend to give justification. That's what he thought. It's harsh again, but true.
Every human is one and for themselves but a part of them is shared by their loved ones. Not uncommon in this world but rarely meaningful.
He still counts the stars sometime like he used to do as a kid. But he loses himself in thoughts of misery now. Why? Why did it happen? Who is to blame?
God is everywhere. Isn't He? Then how can people torment animals, cut trees, spit on the ocean, kick a football, punch the punchbag and so on, without being cursed? And why he was cursed when he threw a statue from the altar? Is that where God lives? Well maybe God lived only there.
People will debate with things like, footballs were meant to kick and all. But rethink and evaluate : how can then God be everywhere? If he really is real, he is in our minds and nowhere else.
What is the worth of living when you know you'll die? Yes ofcourse, it's worth living because you'll die. He understands that. But why live to suffer. What's more painful? Death? Or a miserable life without death?
Love. An unnatural feeling. The nervousness and contractions of your sexual parts. The flickering of eyes and the period of thinking before speaking.
Hate. The same feeling in an opposite way.
Anger. The feeling of feeling supreme. The blood boiling and the time of being selfish and no reasoning.
Peace. He has no answers. Can you explain peace? And if you can... Are you in peace? If not, donot be a hypocrite.
Is this person dead, or alive? If he's dead why did he die? If he's alive, how is he alive?
Shame on this creature for not seeing through the others. They can enjoy, laugh, celebrate together, but they can't see through? Shame on these faction of mortals for thinking they are the supreme being. Shame on these humans for living, just for their own sake and ignoring everything else. Becauss for him, the opposite of love is not hate, but it's ignorance. And that's what this world has been doing for far too long. And for that this world will end. And that's when there will be peace. When nothing's there to move or say or act, it's peaceful. So, he believes, the ultimate peace and the ultimate truth is death. But unfortunately, you can never feel it. And he will never find peace.
